The Reason for Existence
by Shuri 'in a world of black and white
Summary: Nachiru Zaoldyeck, eldest daughter of Silva Zaoldyeck. Aged 15 at the time of disappearance. Two years have passed since, and Killua is determined to find his sister...his sister with fiery red eyes. Set during the hunter exams.
1. Prologue

_First, I would like to warn you all that the main character of this story is Nachiru, a 100 percent made-up character who has nothing to do with the real story. Is this what people call Mary Sue Fanfics? Not so sure... Anyway, if you do not like these kinds of fanfics, please refrain from reading it. I am not accepting any complaints for that part._

_Of course, complaints about my writing style, grammar, etc. are appreciated. Any reviews, please?_

_Disclaimer: I do not own HUNTER X HUNTER, or any of its characters. I own Nachiru, however._

_The first chapter is Killua's POV, but it is only this chapter. The rest will be from a third-person perspective._

_And I just noticed how the first movement of the piece "Piano Sonata No. 14 in C# minor Op. 27-2" aka Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven fits this story perfectly… Also try "Broken" by Seether feat. Amy Lee (Evanescence)._

_Anyway, please enjoy!

* * *

_

I used to have an older sister. Why do I use the phrase _used to_? No, she is not dead. She just ran away from home a few years back.

Nachiru Zaoldyeck. Five years older than me.

She had silver hair, just like my father and I. For all I know, she was also a good assassin. I think that at one point, she was earning as much as my father, which was more than what the rest of the children brought in combined. Of course, Illumi was better at killing, but he was too self-centered. Sometimes he just left a commission because 'he was bored'. Nachiru was very reliable, in that sense, since she had a 100 percent success rate. Another reason why so much people preferred her to the rest of the children was because of her looks. Yes, she was very pretty. Which made all the male clients go for her instead of Illumi or I.

But no matter how successful she was at her career, there was one reason why she was not entitled to be the successor of the family.

Nachiru was the daughter of my father and some other woman. So basically, she was only half-related to me.

One thing that made that obvious was the color of her eyes. Her eyes were sky blue, unlike any other member of the family. They were like marbles, and I still remember how pretty they seemed. But they were also pretty strange, since they turned red whenever she was mad or sad.

I really liked my sister. She was different from my parents or brothers. She treated me as 'Killua', just another normal kid. Not as the talented inheritor of the Zaoldyeck fortune, but just as another normal child. She was the only person who I could be myself with, and the mere presence of her used to calm me.

Nachiru never really got used to killing. As I said earlier, she was the best at killing among us children, probably next to Illumi. But she never accepted killing as part of daily life.  
"Killua."  
I can still clearly remember her voice.  
"Killua, do you fee anything when you kill someone?"  
I think this was the question she asked me when I did my tenth commission. I remember that the edge of her irises kept flashing a reddish color. It was the first time I ever saw her sad, and that kept me from giving her red eyes any particular attention.  
"I'm…getting used to it. Why, do you?"  
"I'm no good. No matter how many times I kill, I can never really get over it."  
"Why? Father and Illumi say that you are a good assassin."  
"Still. I always hesitate. Even if it is less thana split second, I still hesitate."  
"Really?"  
"…I can't really be a part of the Zaoldyecks."  
Her expression at that time still haunts me.

After that, she tried not to show any fear or sorrow in front of me. She always took care of me, and played with me when I was bored. She wasn't exactly nice all the time, and she nagged me at times, but now I understand that she literally 'raised me'. She was the person who taught me the usual things that people learn from their parents. My usually nice, cool, caring older sister. When was it that I found out she was not my mother's daughter?

Yes. That day…that day when I saw her red eyes properly for the first time. That day when I saw something I should not have seen.

"No… What are you…"  
It was one of those nights when you just couldn't sleep no matter what you tried. I went to my sister's room, since that was what I did when I had trouble sleeping. But when I came to the door, I heard my sister's desperate voice from a small opening of the door, and I sensed that something was terribly wrong.

"Shut up for a while, Nachiru."  
I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that voice. It was Illumi…no mistaking about it. I peeked into the room through that small opening, and I froze on the spot.  
"Why, Illumi? Let me go!"  
"No way. Haven't you noticed that I was waiting for this moment for as long as I can remember?"  
Illumi had Nachiru pinned down on the floor. She was looking at his face, vivid red eyes opened wide in disbelief and fear.  
"I'm your sister! I'm not…"  
"I said shut up. We're only half-related anyway. Plus, it's biologically acceptable if we don't have kids."  
"That's not the point…"  
My brother quickly sealed her lips. My sister opened her eyes wider, and teardrop slid down her face. She obviously did not ask for this situation, but she no longer seemed to be able to fight back. It was an impossible order, to try to run when she couldn't even blink for fear. I was also paralyzed with fear, even if I was only watching.

Suddenly, Illumi let go of her and glared at the door… At me. He threw one of his needles at the door.  
"You're there, aren't you, Kill?"  
"Killua!"  
The door opened slowly. Illumi and Nachiru saw me, and I saw them…and the whole room. It was a mess. It seemed as if my sister had put up quite a fight, but then she could not win against Illumi. Now that I think of it, he already had that ability to make people feel sick just by reaching out towards them.  
"Illumi…Nachiru……?"  
"If you don't want to die, get out of here right now. Oh, and don't tell anyone about this, okay?"  
I just stood there, frozen to the spot.  
"Kill, are you listening?"  
"…Nachiru!"  
I didn't know what to do, so I desperately shouted to my sister. She looked at me, eyes filled with fear, and quickly looked away.  
"Go, Killua. He'll really kill you…"  
Her voice seemed to wake me from a trance. I turned my back to the door, and started running as fast as I could. I wanted to protect my sister, and beat up my brother for that…but I was too weak. I was too scared.

I went back to my room, and threw up until I was spitting blood. But I still felt sick. I was only seven, so I did not fully understand what was going on in my sister's room. But I understood enough to know that it was something bad, something very wrong… She only should have been twelve at the most. It was just sick.

For a while, my brain was blank. I was scared, I felt sick, I was so frustrated at myself… I cried, wrapping myself with my bed sheets. Usually, my sister was there to comfort me at times like that, but then she was…

Eventually, my brain regained the ability to think. That was the first time I noticed two unusual things. First, my sister's red eyes. It wasn't just any kind of red. It was scarlet. Of course, I was too young at that time to know of such a color as 'scarlet', so I just thought of it as the color of blood. Either way, she was supposed to have blue eyes, which was unusual in itself because the Zoaldyecks have purple eyes. Then why were my sister's eyes the color of blood?

The other thing was something that Illumi said.  
_We're only half-related anyway.  
_I couldn't understand it. Half, meaning one parent is different. Since she had silver hair which obviously came from my father, so if she was only half-related, she would have a different mother. Was that the reason why mother always acted different towards her?

I felt sick of myself after I though of those things. How could I be so clear-headed when my sister was enduring such a terrible fate? How could I be so cold-hearted? Tears began to crawl into my eyes again. I could get through any torture from my parents of Milluki without even shouting, but this thing just kept me crying.

A few hours passed, and I noticed someone at the door of my room. I sat up and got ready for any attack that was coming, but then I noticed it was my sister.  
"Nachiru!"  
"Killua! Are you okay? Did Illumi do anything to you?"  
"No…but what did he do to you…?"  
"Don't mind about me. You don't have to know."  
She said that in a trembling voice, and hugged me. She was trembling so much that it took me a while to notice she was crying. She never did anything that made me uneasy, so I was shocked. Was that how much she was hurt? Was that how cruel Illumi was to her?  
"Nachiru…"  
I hugged her back, and started crying with her.

The next morning, she came down to breakfast like any normal morning. I gave her a worried look, but she winked at me as if to say she was alright. I was still small and stupid, so I was convinced by that. I never really noticed that Illumi was not there yet.

"Good morning."  
"Illumi, you woke up late today. Did anything happen?"  
"I was just up late yesterday."  
"Don't push yourself too hard."  
"I know."  
The moment Illumi's voice reached her ears, she shuddered. She acted a little weird after that. Every time Illumi spoke, every time someone called his name, her eyes turned red. It was only for a split second, but it was enough for me to notice.

"Nachiru."  
Illumi suddenly spoke to her. She looked down, eyes wide with fear and hate. Wide and red, with fear and hate.  
"Don't even talk to her!"  
"I wasn't talking to you, Killua. Nachiru, can you pass me the salt?"  
Illumi ignored me, and reached his hand towards Nachiru. She passed the salt without saying anything or looking up. Her arms were shaking. Then she stood up and left the room.

Nachiru started to act unusually whenever Illumi was around. Whenever they passed by each other, whenever they met, whenever she heard his voice. My sister's eyes always turned red, and she always started shaking. Since that day, I also encountered them in a similar situation countless times. Every time, Illumi told…no, ordered me to tell no one about this. I was terrified, so I followed his orders. I knew that I would be killed if I ever failed to follow him. And there was also a great possibility that he would kill Nachiru, too.

Three years later, my sister disappeared from home. One morning, when we woke up, she was gone. She had gone without saying a word to anyone. Not even to me. I felt as if I was betrayed. I though she trusted me. At least more than the rest of the family. But she never told me about this before. She left everything except for some money and a few of her valuables. I could tell my father was mad, and that Illumi was extremely upset. I think he tried to look for Nachiru while he was out of the house, but as far as I know, he had no idea where she went.

Some time passed, and it seemed as if everyone forgot about her. No one spoke of her, and no one brought up any topic related in any way to her. It almost drove me crazy, and I was scared that I was just imagining the memories I had with her. But then, I knew that I wasn't imagining anything. She, Nachiru Zaoldyeck, was someone who really existed. She was my sister.

"I'm getting out of here! I'm sick and tired of you telling me what to do!"

That's why, I'm also running away from home. I'm already tired of being here, surrounded by all these people who decided to erase the existence called Nachiru. I was tired of having them order me around, to kill people, to inherit the family fortune. I wanted to decide my future for myself.

And I also wanted to see my sister again. That's why I am running away today. I want to see her again, and ask her why she never told me anything.

* * *

_I'm not so sure about the spelling for Milluki. Am I right, or should it be Miruki? And when Illumi calls Killua's name, he just says "Kill", right? Should I keep it the spelling like that, or is it better if I put "Kilu" or "Killu" or something? Anyway, any reviews appreciated. Please, anyone?_


	2. Run! X Miyo X An Interesting Encounter

It was the beginning of the hunter exams that happened every year, and the final number of examinees for that year was 404. The number itself was not so significant, as it was just about average, but that year, about a third of the examinees where newcomers, which was very unusual. Of course, most of them probably would be eliminated in the first or second test, but some seemed to have enough skill to last until the latter part of the exams.

"Hey, you guys are new, aren't you?"  
"Yeah. How come you knew?"  
"Well, I've been taking the test for 36 times already…"  
Two people watched indifferently while Tompa, the _rookie-killer _talked to the last three newcomers to come. One of them was Killua Zaoldyeck. He was one of those people who did not really want to be a hunter, but just wanted to kill time and have some fun. Well, a hunter license is useful in many ways, and it might help him to look for his long-lost sister.

The other was a young woman with dark skin, black eyes and orange hair tied in a ponytail. She had been there for as long as most of the examinees could remember, but she hardly talked. She was not exactly pretty. She also seemed to be looking down on everyone.

Killua and the woman did not notice each other.

"Tompa-san, right?"  
The woman, after observing them for a while, talked to Tompa and the three.  
"Uh…yes."  
"I've heard rumors about you since I've been here for a while. Well, nice to meet you."  
Tompa's expression stiffened at the word 'rumors'.  
"I've never seen you before. You are also new, right?"  
"Yes, it's the first time for me to come here. But it's pretty easy, isn't it? I've been waiting here for about three days already."  
"Three days!"  
Gon shouted in surprise.  
"So what's your number?"  
"Three. So sad, I was actually aiming to be the first."  
"Kurapika, you were right. People here are really strong."  
Leorio whispered to Kurapika in a really small voice that even Gon couldn't hear. But, the woman seemed to catch every word.  
"Should I take that as a compliment?"  
"What…!"  
"I have good ears, so I can almost anything. Well, I think the examiner is here now. See you later."  
She said, and walked away from the three and Tompa.

Killua stood there, paralyzed. That woman… She looked so different and acted different, but she reminded him of his sister. But it couldn't be. First of all, his sister had silver hair and blue eyes. Well, blue eyes that turned red. And she was a hundred times more prettier than that weird woman. Second, his sister never looked down on anyone. Except for Milluki, but then that was his problem. She also talked differently. Killua erased the foolish thought from his head, and walked towards the examiner who finally arrived.

"The first test will be to get to the site of the second test."  
While most of the examinees raised their eyebrow at the unexpected test, that woman raised her hand.  
"May I ask a question?"  
"Sure, what is it?"  
"Is there any rule as to how to get there?"  
"Not specifically. May I continue?"  
"Yes, thank you."

After a few more explanations, the examiner…by the name of Satotsu…started walking. All the examinees followed him without much hassle. Of course, it was easy at first since they were only walking. But eventually, Satotsu started traveling at a pretty high speed, and some people started to show exhaustion. Then a child on a skate board overtook the people who started to lag. Yes, no other than Killua.  
"Hey kid! That's cheating!"  
Leorio shouted and pointed his finger at him. Kurapika just looked at him in surprise, and said calmly to his companion.  
"It's not cheating. You are basically allowed to bring anything to the exams."  
"But still…"

Leorio started complaining as he watched Gon, apparently extremely interested in the kid, run faster to catch up with Killua. That was when he heard a voice from beside him. He seemed annoyed when he saw that woman on inline skates.  
"It's not cheating. Don't you remember what I asked Satotsu-san before this test started? You can use whatever you want to get to the second test."  
"Ugh…"  
"So it's you again?"  
"Don't look at me like that, I'm not trying to kill you or anything."  
"May I know your name?"  
Kurapika asked politely, at least trying not to show his cautiousness towards her. She noticed the unwelcome tone of voice though, but she just smiled.  
"Just call me Miyo. It's not my real name, by the way. Nice to meet you, Kurapika-san, Leorio-san."  
"Why…"  
"Do I know your name? I heard you. You people talk pretty loud."  
"That's unfair!"  
"Your fault. Well, you don't have to be on your guard since as I've been repeating how many times, I am not trying to kill you."  
"…Right."  
Leorio raised his eyebrows, blatantly showing distrust. Kurapika did not say anything or do anything, but just watched her back disappear into the front crowd.

As 'Miyo' overtook them soon after the beginning of the test, she never knew about the real aim of Tompa, about how Kurapika and Leorio fell into Tompa's trap, or about how Killua saved all of them. She just knew that suddenly, all of them were gone, and suddenly, they all came back through a hole that Killua made.

That was the first time she really saw Killua. Kurapika was the only one who noticed that she opened her eyes wide in surprise when she saw his figure come through the hole in the wall. It was a very small reaction that took place for even less than a second, but he was sure he saw it.

For the rest of the exam, though, she did not talk or even look at the rest of them. Which made Kurapika extremely suspicious. He wanted to ask her if he knew Killua, but since he had to run with Leorio who was at the end of the crowd while Miyo was at the leading crowd, he never got the chance.


	3. Cooking? X Sushi X Invincible!

"The second test is cooking!"  
When Menchi announced what the second test was going to be, it most of the examinees started complaining.  
"Cooking? What does that have to do with being a hunter?"  
"Yeah!"

Miyo, standing a little far away from the rest of the examinees, seemed to be thinking about something. Cooking was never a problem for Miyo. She had been cooking for quite a while now, and was pretty confident about her skills. The problem, though, was that the examiners were 'food hunters'. If they were just normal people, Miyo was sure she would pass. But it wouldn't be easy to satisfy 'food hunters'. Even if she was a good cook, she was talking about it in a non-professional level. Plus, what kind of unusual food will they make her cook?

"For the first part of the test, I want you to make my favorite dish."  
Miyo was brought back from her thoughts by the voice of the big guy sitting beside Menchi (since Miyo was not really paying attention, she did know what his name was). While she was wondering what he would say next, a stampede of huge black creatures came charging towards the crowd. Half of the examinees were either trampled on or blown away by those creatures. Miyo was among the fortunate ones who evaded the stampede.  
"My favorite dish is roasted pig! And not just any pig, the most violent pig in the world, the Great Stomp!"  
And so the examinees started playing a life-or-death game of tag with the those pigs…

Gon was the first to get one of them. After hitting his pig on its head, he shouted to Leorio and Kurapika.  
"Leorio! Kurapika! Aim for the head!"  
Miyo heard that, and smiled to herself. That boy, Gon…What was he thinking? If he shouted that out so loud, everyone will know the weakness of the pigs, meaning more people will pass the test.

It was no wonder that she heard the noise of something huge dropping to the ground everywhere soon after. Obviously, many people seem to have heard what Gon shouted. Miyo sighed. She personally wanted to observe how good the other examinees were, but it seemed as if she did not have that luxury…not now, anyways. Miyo quickly found one of those pigs, killed it in a flash, built a fire, and started roasting it.

Miyo was about the forty-second examinee to pass the first part of the second test. She looked and was happy to see that Gon, Kurapika, Leorio and Killua all seemed to have passed. They caught her attention, somehow, and it would have been a pity to see them fail.

"For the second part, I want you to make sushi!"  
Menchi announced after 70 people passed the first part. Most of the examinees just stared back at her with a blank expression.  
"…Sushi?"  
"Yes, sushi. And not just any sushi, I want nigiri-sushi."  
"But what is a sushi?"  
"Figuring that out is part of the test. Now start!"

All the examinees ran to the work stations, and started trying to figure out what in the world sushi was. There were just two examinees who didn't do the same. Hanzou was one, since he already knew what sushi was. The who was the other?

Yes, you guessed right. Miyo.

"Hey, you know what sushi is?"  
Hanzou asked Miyo, obviously surprised. And you could not blame him, since sushi was a dish from one of the smallest and unknown countries in the world.  
"Well…yes. One of my friends came from that country."  
Miyo answered a little reluctantly. It seemed as if the memory about that friend was not entirely something happy.  
"…Well, anyway. It's is actually fun to watch those people suffer for once."  
"Are you telling me to keep it a secret? Of course I will. I'm not stupid enough to increase competition."  
"Right. Deal?"  
"…Is this counted as a deal? Oh, well."  
Miyo smiled, waved at Hanzou, and hummed as she headed towards the river.

Soon after, Miyo came back with a fish in her hand. Unfortunately for the others and fortunately for her, all the other examinees were to absorbed in their guessing to actually notice her. She then went to an empty work station, quickly cut the fish, got some rice, and started making sushi. Hanzou, who was the only one who saw her come in, was amazed at how quickly and accurately she handled the fish. In less than five minutes, the sushi was ready to eat. Miyo did not seem so convinced, but she covered the plate and went to Menchi.

By this time, the rest of the examinees also knew that the ingredient of sushi was fish, so all the rest ran out to catch some fish. Miyo looked at them in an exasperated way, and quietly gave the dish to Menchi.  
"Here, sushi."  
Menchi was obviously surprised that an examinee managed to figure out what sushi was and make it in such a short time. She then took her chopsticks. She looked at it for a while, then ate it.  
"This is delicious! Right, number 3, you pass the second test!"  
"Oh, that's good news. Thank you."  
Hanzou blinked. Miyo… Did she just pass? In just a blink of an eye? What surprised him more was that Menchi, who seemed to be a very impatient person to him, was happily chatting with Miyo.  
"So, what kind of fish did you use?"  
"I have no idea, it was just some random fish from the stream.""I see. Well, you can do whatever you want until the rest finish."  
"Okay."  
"And don't tell them what sushi is even if they corner you!"  
"Of course not!"  
Miyo laughed and went out of the building. That was when Hanzou finally remembered he was lagging behind, and went out to catch some fish.

When the first of the other examinees came back, they were surprised to find Miyo leaning on the wall of the building and dosing off. Did she already pass, or did she just give up? They decided it was the latter, and hurriedly went to make whatever sushi was.

Gon, Kurapika, Killua and Leorio all came back at the same time. They were all about to go in the building when Gon noticed Miyo.  
"Hey, Miyo-san!"  
Gon ran towards her, but was a little disappointed when he found out she was asleep.  
"What is she doing out here?"  
"...There are two possibilities. One, she already passed the test and has nothing to do, or two, she gave up the exam and is killing time until the second test is over."  
"What? Passed? But how does she even know what sushi is?"  
"…Leorio, you are so loud."  
Kurapika sighed when Leorio shouted in his ears.

"Can you please not argue when someone is trying to sleep over here?"  
Suddenly, Miyo spoke up. They all looked at her. Since when was she awake?  
"I'm sorry if my companion woke you up. We didn't mean to."  
"Nothing to apologize about, Kurapika-san."  
Miyo smiled and looked at the four.  
"Miyo-san, did you already pass the test?"  
Gon asked, full of innocent curiosity. Miyo patted him on his head.  
"Yes. I think you all should be going also."  
"…What did you use?"  
Killua butted into the conversation. Miyo was taken aback, and Kurapika noticed a flicker of emotion that appeared in her eyes. Dislike? Annoyance? No, it was nothing like that. Then what was it?  
"Fish and rice. That's what you are meant to use."  
"Wrong question. How do you make it?"  
"Sorry, I cannot tell. You have to figure it out yourselves."  
Miyo said, and fell back asleep. The four sighed, and went in the building. After some tries, Hanzou shouted out what sushi was in frustration…. Which made Menchi extremely mad, resulting in the failure of all the examinees…

With the exception of Miyo.

Miyo only finally woke up when the Chairman came to tell Menchi to redo the test. As she had already passed, she was exempted from getting the egg of the spider eagle.

Finally, she had a chance to observe all the examinees who were still remaining. She smiled to herself, obviously contented with what she saw.


	4. Comission X Misunderstanding X Grudge

It was in the airship to the site of the third test that Miyo and the others met again.

The first people who she talked to was Kurapika and Leorio. They were having trouble sleeping with Tompa snoring loudly beside them, so Miyo sat down beside them for a little chat.  
"So, how did the test go for you?"  
"Oh, yeah, since _someone_ was not very generous and did not tell us what sushi was in advanced, we had a hell of a time."  
"Leorio, please."  
Leorio still blatantly showed his dislike for Miyo, while Kurapika was simply exasperated with the constant bickering of Leorio whenevershe was around. Miyo, still feeling the clear distrust from the both of them, decided to leave them alone for now.  
"Well anyway. If you want to sleep before the third test, I suggest you get out of this place as soon as possible. I think Tompa is snoring too loudly for anyone in their right mind to sleep."  
"…_You_ also are distracting us from sleeping, you know?"  
"Leorio, please. Thank you for your advice, Miyo-san, we'll keep it in mind."  
"Hey Kurapika! Why do you call her Miyo-_san_?"  
Leorio said, obviously dissatisfied with how Kurapika still decided to keep the least of his manners.  
"It is the least of manners to show respect to a stranger."  
_Especially when that stranger is most likely older than you._ He added in his mind. Miyo seemed to be in her early twenties, perhaps even approaching her late twenties.

Miyo left them without saying another word. She knew exactly what Kurapika was thinking, and he was wrong. But she didn't bother to correct him. It really didn't matter to her how old people thought she was.

Next, she saw Gon and Killua talking near the window. Since they seemed to be having a nice time, she decided to leave them alone too…for now, at least. But when she passed by the two, Gon casually greeted her.  
"Hi, Miyo-san!"  
"Oh…hi, Gon."  
Miyo answered, a little surprised. Why was it that unlike his companions, Gon talked to her like she was his friend? She glanced at Killua. Killua was looking at her with eyes full of distrust. Just as expected. But Gon?  
"You're so great! You passed the second test before anyone even noticed! Where did you learn how to make sushi?"  
"Well… My friend used to know how to make sushi, and she taught me."  
"She? Or he?"  
Killua finally spoke, obviously trying to make fun of her. Miyo was surprised that he would also talk to her.  
"She. And I'd rather you wouldn't talk about her, since it reminds me of something really bad."  
"Bad thing? Like what?"  
Gon asked innocently. Miyo sighed, and thought the fastest way to get them of 'her friend' was to tell them what happened.  
"She died. Was killed, to be exact. So don't talk about her, okay?"  
"Oh… I'm sorry I asked."  
Gon said, obviously regretting what he said. Miyo just patted the both of them on their heads, and walked away.

When she turned a corner, she noticed an unfamiliar girl wearing a cape. The girl seemed to be looking at Killua. _Not quite the way a girl looks at her crush._ Miyo thought as she saw the clear hate in the girl's gaze.  
"Hi, what's your name?"  
The girl, obviously surprised at Miyo, stepped back.  
"Why do I have to tell you?"  
"Do you like that kid or something? Since you've been giving him quite passionate glances. But I personally think he is too young for you."  
The girl flinched. Then she saw Killua run towards her. He also seemed to have noticed. But when Killua came to the corner, the girl was already gone. Miyo noticed an earring on a plant, and picked it up. It should have been the girl's. A white, round earring, probably made of spice crystal. Miyo seemed shocked for a while.  
"Hey! Were you the one who was looking at me?"  
Killua shouted at Miyo, obviously quite angry. Miyo shook her head.  
"What? But someone was…."  
"It was another girl. She left something, so will you be kind enough to give it back to her?"  
Miyo said gently and handed the earring to Killua. Killua saw it, and seemed to understand everything.  
"Hey, Gon."  
Killua said smiling to Gon, who apparently had no idea what was going on.  
"Let's go drink some tea."

The whole time while they were in the café, Killua felt someone looking at him. Someone among the examinees probably had a grudge on him, or the Zaoldyeck family. Or both.  
"Killua, are you mad?"  
Gon asked, worried about his friend's unusual behavior. Killua just shook his head.  
"Not at you."  
Then, an unfamiliar girl came up to the two. She asked them if she could sit with them, and Gon said yes. So she sat with them. She never let her gaze wander from Killua the whole time.

"What's your name?"  
"I'm Anita."  
She looked at Gon for the first time, but she quickly looked back at Killua. He was facing his back to her, as if not wanting her to see his face.  
"I want to be a blacklist hunter."  
"A blacklist hunter? Why?"  
"I want to take revenge for my father."  
She took a deep breath, and continued.  
"My father was a spice merchant. He bought spices and sailed them all over the world. He was very successful, and at one point he made enough money to buy a small country. But there were people who became jealous, and hired an assassin to kill him."  
"Is that…"  
"I didn't even have to look. It was the Zaoldyeck family."  
But when Anita was about to continue, a clear voice came from her back.

"So, your name is Anita?"  
"You…"  
Anita stared wide-eyed at Miyo. Miyo was standing behind her, obviously unhappy with what was going on.  
"What makes you so sure that that boy is the assassin who killed your father?"  
"Because…He is part of the Zaoldyeck…"  
"Exactly, part of. There are nine people in the Zaoldyeck household. Well, right now, there are only seven, but that's not my point. Have you ever considered the possibility that he isn't the one who killed your parents?"  
Killua glared at the interference. He even seemed more annoyed when he saw Leorio and Kurapika come that way too.

"Well, Anita-san. Would you want a drink, perhaps? Let's leave the children alone and talk about our dreams together…"  
Leorio said as he held her shoulders. He gave a thumb-up sign to Gon, so that he knew what was going on.  
"Leave me alone! I don't feel like that right now!"  
"I can't. I'm Kurapika. I'm also aiming to be a blacklist hunter, and I would appreciate it if you would give me some of your time."  
"Stop it."  
Killua said, his lips forming a cold grin.  
"You want to know something?"  
He faced Anita and continued tauntingly.  
"_Only people who are hated are ever killed by hired assassins_. My sister was the one on that comission. You want to know what she said? Your father's wrongdoing earned him his enemies, not his wealth. You should try to check on the things he did before you blame us for killing him."

"I won't forgive you!"  
Anita said, as she got her knife and tried to stab Killua. Of course, Killua got away without even a scratch, which made Anita even more desperate. She aimed the knife at Killua, and was about to strike, when suddenly her arm was twisted back.  
"Stop it. It's not getting you anywhere."  
Everyone looked at Miyo in surprise. She was at least ten feet away from Anita a moment ago.  
"Why…"  
"First, if you really want to avenge your father, you should do a surprise attack. Second, make sure who exactly killed your father before you do anything. You are too weak, Anita. You can never win against any of the Zaoldyecks."  
"What do you understand about me?"  
"Nothing. That is why I can give an unbiased opinion about your 'revenge'. It's no use."  
Miyo said, and hit Anita with the side of her hand. Anita instantly lost consciousness and fell to the chair. Miyo sighed, still clearly mad, and tried to leave the room.

"Wait."  
Killlua said, and Miyo looked back.  
"What is it?"  
"Why do you know such things?"  
"What exactly do you mean, such things?"  
"Why do you know that the whole Zaoldyeck family has nine members? And why do you know that only seven of them are at home right now?"  
"Because I know."  
Everyone noticed the profound sadness in Miyo's eyes. It was the first time she showed her emotions openly towards the others.  
"Are you sure we didn't kill anyone close to you? How about that friend you talked about? You said she was killed, right?"  
"For your first question, I have to say half yes, half no. For you second question…no. My friend was not killed by the Zaoldyecks."  
That was all Miyo said, and she left. Killua stared at her back with an incomprehensible expression.


	5. Pasts X Secrets X Revelations

"The instruction for the third test is very simple! Come down from this tower alive, within the time limit of 72 hours!"  
The examinees seemed simply dumbstruck with the instruction. Everyone refused to move even after a while the examiner left with the airship. Miyo, for the first time, was among those who were take aback. Down this tower? But how?

"Hahaha, sad for you people!"  
A man shouted as he started tying some ropes to himself. Miyo noticed, and walked towards him. She was half contented but half worried to find the four there too.  
"Since I'm a rock climbing expert, this tower is nothing hard to get down from!"  
"Wow, that's so cool!"  
"I never thought of that idea…"  
Unlike Gon and Kurapika who were amazed at his idea, Miyo shook her head.  
"It's not a good idea."  
The four was no longer surprised by the voice that came from their backs.  
"Why do you say that, Miyo-san?"  
"Because…"  
When she tried to explain, the man, who was already a good twenty feet below them snarled.  
"A sore loser, aren't you? You are jealous that I am getting down before you."  
"I agree with her."  
Killua said, as he gave Miyo a suspicious look. Miyo, on her part, seemed to be avoiding Killua for some reason.

"I can get down in about an hour if I put my mind to it, but…"  
"What the…!"  
Before Miyo even finished her sentence, two weird bird-like monsters came and attacked the man. He was instantly killed, and the monsters took his limp body, probably for food.  
"That's why I said…"  
Miyo sighed.  
"Well, if we can't get down from the outside, there has to be a way to get through the tower."  
Everyone nodded at Kurapika's words. The other examinees also seemed to notice that, and soon everyone was looking for doors opening to a way down.

And when they noticed, Miyo was already gone…

xoxox

And when they arrived at the bottom floor of the tower, they noticed that Miyo was already there.  
"Damn it, why is she here already?"  
"I think she will pass all the tests. She has that much skill."  
Leorio started complaining again, but Kurapika argued against him in his usual calm voice.  
"You also think so, Kurapika?"  
"…I don't like her."  
"Why do you say that, Killua?"  
"She is so different, but she reminds me of someone."  
"What are you talking about?"  
Killua ignored Leorio's comments, and started walking towards the exit that was finally opened. The rest followed hurriedly.

"Since I guess you are all tired, the examiners have arranged for you to stay here for three days. Please enjoy your stay."  
The examinees were all packed up in the usual airship, and were brought to an island far south. When they were greeted by a kind-looking old couple, most of them seemed very happy. They were about to rush outside when the couple said an unbelievable thing.  
"The cost for a room is a hundred thousand jennys."  
"What? You charge us?"  
"Well, yes, it is a hotel."  
"But we don't have that much money!"  
"For customers like that, we have an alternate way for payment. Fortunately, this place is filled with sunken ships. You may find some valuable treasures, for which we will give you room."

Miyo sighed while she was listening to the conversation. She was very tired, since her route in the trick tower involved a life-or-death game of tag with an unrecognizable slimy creature, a life-or-death shooting game with a man in all black, and an extensive game of mah-jongg which drained her brain power, all of which kept her busy for 38 hours and 17minutes nonstop.

"I'm so sorry, but I don't have the energy to go treasure hunting today. Will this be enough for a room?"  
She said, and got a necklace out of her bag. It was made of silver colored metal, with a large scarlet stone embedded in the middle.  
"I think the stone was called 'tear of blood' or something like that."  
She was about to hand the necklace to the couple when a voice stopped her. Everyone seemed to be surprised at who spoke up… It  
was Kurapika.

"Miyo-san. I know this is an unreasonable request, but could you possibly hand that necklace over to me? It is a traditional craft from my tribe."  
Miyo stared at Kurapika with an incomprehensible expression. Scorn? No. Annoyance? No. Disbelief? Not exactly. Surprise. Simple as it is, that was the best word.  
"Under different circumstances, I would gladly do so. But I want a room. But, well…if you will pay for me too, then that's a different story."  
"If I do, then will you give it to me?"  
"Sure. If it is from your tribe, then you are its rightful owner in the first place."  
"Right. Manager, could you lend her a room? I will pay for it later."  
"Well, why not?"  
The old lady smiled, and handed Miyo a key.

When Kurapika finally got enough treasures that night, he found out that he was to be in the same room as Miyo. Since he needed to ask a few questions, mainly about where she got the necklace, he thought that it worked well.

"Kurapika? So we're in the same room, huh?"  
When Kurapika went in the room, he found Miyo playing around with a pen. She didn't seem so surprised they were in the same room.  
"Yes… You still have the necklace?"  
"In my bag. But before I give it to you, I want to ask a few questions."  
"It turns out that I also need to ask a few things."  
"Well, then let's just take turns answering a question at a time. It'd probably be the fastest way. Of course, please don't lie. If you don't want to answer, that's fine, but just don't lie. You go first."

"Who are you?"  
Miyo smiled at the question. A pretty good one, since you could get a lot of information from just one question. She thought to herself if he seemed trustworthy enough to reveal her true identity to. Answer? Yes.  
"Just promise me one thing?"  
"What is it?"  
"Do not tell anyone about what you saw here tonight. Especially to Killua."  
Kurapika seemed a little surprised, but he nodded. Miyo closed her eyes, and seemed to be concentrating on something. Then slowly, her appearance started to change. Her short, orange hair turned into long, silver locks that reached her waist, and her dark skin became so white that they almost seemed transparent. Her facial features also changed a lot. She became younger…and a lot prettier, even beautiful. Kurapika was amazed at the change.

"Surprised?"  
She opened her eyes, revealing sky blue eyes instead of the black ones she had before. The exact same color with Kurapika's eyes.  
"…Yes."  
"You have no clue what's going on, do you? This is what I really look like. My name is Nachiru Zaoldyeck, age is seventeen."  
"Why…"  
"Wait, my turn. You said that the necklace was from your tribe. So you are a Kuruta, am I right?"  
"Yes. Why did you disguise yourself, and use a false name?"  
"There is a person who I don't want to meet. I thought the Kuruta were slaughtered to the last one."  
Kurapika's eyes turned red. Miyo…no, Nachiru, when she saw that, seemed to have confirmed a doubt.

"The tribe was destroyed… As far as I am concerned, I am the only survivor. Why are you interested in the Kuruta?"  
_The eyes?_ Nachiru could almost hear the furious thoughts of the young Kuruta. She was able to figure out what most people were thinking through there expressions and actions, especially when they were so flagrantly shown. But she had no idea what he meant by that. No, she did not know how much a pair of Kuruta eyes would be worth.

"My eyes also turn red. I was thinking that I might have something to do with the Kuruta, and you just now confirmed my doubts. You said that you are the last Kuruta, meaning that the possibility of meeting any other member is…?"  
"Red eyes? You are also a Kuruta? But I have never…"  
"Answer me first."  
Kurapika was obviously astounded by what Nachiru said. He seemed flustered at first but a quiet look from Nachiru calmed him down. He took a deep breath, as if to settle down his thoughts, and answered.  
"No matter where you go, the only Kuruta you would ever meet would be me. If you really are a Kuruta, then how come you were not part of our clan? I never saw you before."

"Have you forgotten my family name is Zaoldyeck? I'm the child between Silva Zaoldyeck and his Kuruta mistress, and I was raised as a Zaoldyeck. I have never met my real mother, and I do not even know her name. I did not even know my red eyes had anything to do with her until recently. Do you have any idea who she might be?"  
"I'm sorry, but no. Where did you get that necklace?"  
"In some city that I was passing by one day. One man said something to me which made me really angry, and my eyes turned red though I didn't mean it to happen. Then he became scared for some unknown reason, and handed me that necklace and left. How much is it actually worth?"  
"The stone itself is not of much value, but if you consider that it is a craft by a small clan that no longer exists…But it still isn't worth much. Why does Killua pretend not to know you? He should know you, if you are a Zaoldyeck."  
"In fact, I am his older sister. He isn't pretending anything, actually. He doesn't know that Miyo is me, that's all."  
Kurapika sensed a profound sadness deep inside her. It brought back to him the incident in the airship to the Trick Tower. Didn't she also look like this when the girl…Anita tried to get revenge on Killua? Though her eyes were black instead of blue at that time, it still had the same melancholy within. His memory of that time, though, aroused new questions.

"…How old are you?"  
Nachiru said, obviously hesitant to get to the point. She knew that what she _really_ wanted to ask him was one of his most unforgettable, cursed memories…Just as hers of her brother were.  
"Same as you, seventeen. Do you remember the time in the airship? When Killua asked you if the Zaoldyecks killed anyone close to you, you said 'half yes and half no'. What do you mean by that?"  
Her gazed wavered, quite unsure of what to say. This was another of those _personal_ questions she wasn't exactly eager to answer, but refusing to answer meant risking Kurapika to do the same. She then figured out that she might as well answer the question, since Kurapika knew her true identity anyway. And, if you expect something from others, you should be ready to do the same thing to them. In this case, answer the questions honestly.  
"…By half, I mean they tried to. Intentionally or without knowing, I am not so sure, but they tried to kill Killua and I."  
"……"  
"I don't mean it literally, okay? I meant that they denied our existence as 'Nachiru' or 'Killua' and treated us like killing machines. It wasn't so hard on me, since they didn't expect much from an illegitimate daughter…but Killua? When he smiled, there was always an expression of pain on his face. Though he was struggling hard against it, a part of him was slowly dying. Which was also killing me slowly."  
"I see…"  
Kurapika cast down his eyes. He wasn't sure if he really understood, but he thought he could imagine it. Indeed, 'half yes and half no'. Killing usually was thought to be the act of terminating all bodily functions, but that wasn't the only way you could kill someone. You could kill someone by completely denying them any reason to exist.

Nachiru looked up, trying hard not to look sad. The memory from the time she spent as 'Nachiru Zaoldyeck' still remained like a thorn deep in her heart. But she had long before gotten over it. She didn't want Kurapika to feel uneasy because of that. It was her turn…she was still tentative about getting into Kurapika's personal business, but she felt she really had no choice. She wasn't playing this game for nothing.  
"Why was the Kuruta tribe massacred?"  
Kurapika's eyes flashed back to red again.  
"You don't know…? Well, it is only natural as you have never been with us. These eyes… 'fiery red eyes' are considered one of the seven great beauties of the world. When a Kuruta dies in this state, the eyes remain red for eternity. Some people buy them for quite a lot, and the Genei Ryodan thought they could make a fortune out of that…"  
His voice trailed of, and Nachiru saw his clenched fist was shaking. _The Spider_. Bottomless hatred and a strong desire for vengeance was all she could feel from him at the moment, and the intensity of these emotions actually scared her.

* * *

_Well, so I guess this chapter has cleared most of the doubts, didn't it? Okay, it actually was pretty obvious, but please, this is where it starts to get interesting. (evil laugh) This is more or less the middle point...well not really, but you know what I mean._

_Thank you to I AM PAN and keia mizuki for reviewing. keia mizuki, I think this was what you were confused about, right? Hope you get it now..._

_Please, people, if you even read this chapter PLEASE REVIEW!_


	6. Trauma X Affinity X Spiders

"…I am sorry. I still can't control myself when it comes to the Ryodan. So… you have been traveling? How long and where?"  
When Kurapika raised his eyes again, Nachiru was glad to see it was back to the normal color.  
"Probably a little more than a year? Not that long. I've been to so much places I can't even remember."  
"A year? Your family allowed you to wander around for so long? I thought the Zaoldyecks were a skilled assassin family."  
"It's only because I ran away. How long have you been with Killua? Is he acting okay?"  
"Just from the first test. Well… he does act a little…different sometimes, but in general, yes, he is okay. He seems to be having fun with Gon."  
"That boy he's always with? Yeah, he seems to be really nice. I'm really happy that Killua finally got a friend…"  
Nachiru smiled gently, which made Kurapika wonder. Nachiru acted so different from when she was 'Miyo'. Or was it only because she looked different? Miyo always seemed to be looking down on people, but Nachiru seemed to be nice. And she cared a lot for her younger brother, as far as he could see.  
"Why do you want to be a hunter?"  
"I want to avenge my tribe, and get back their eyes. For that, I thought getting a hunter license would be useful."  
"For revenge, huh?"  
She said, and looked down sadly. It seemed as if she had bad memories with 'revenges', but Kurapika couldn't tell what.

"Why did you run away?"  
Nachiru looked up in surprise as the conversation regained a serious tone.  
"…I just couldn't stay in that house anymore."  
Kurapika observed in wonder as Nachiru started shifting uncomfortably. The reason was probably something very personal…something that she'd rather not remember about. He regretted a little for asking that question. It somehow made him feel bad when she looked sad. Was it because she was a Kuruta, and when she was sad, it reminded him of the time he couldn't do anything to save the other Kurutas? Could be that, could be something else.  
"I don't really want to answer that question. I'm sorry."  
"No… I should apologize, I was the one who brought up the topic."

"When you are with Killua…Can you treat him as a normal kid? Or is he…"  
"Or are we always aware that he is part of an assassin family, and has to be treated with care? No, not really."  
"…Thank you."  
Nachiru said, both her eyes and voice full of gratitude. Was that how much she cared about Killua? To Kurapika, it seemed as though she thought she considered Killua more important than herself.  
"Well, it's your turn."  
"…Who is the person who you don't want to meet?"

Her eyes revealed fear that even her composure could not hide, and turned fiery red. Kurapika was struck speechless by them. This was the first time that he was actually able to observe the red eyes, since the only time he saw it while he was old enough to appreciate the beauty passed in fear and confusion. Now that he saw it, he had to admit, it _was_ beautiful. Though it still wasn't enough reason to kill, he understood a little why many people would want to have it. But to him, the phrase 'fiery red' didn't seem to fit. It was more like… the color of blood.  
"…My older brother, Illumi Zaoldyeck."  
Nachiru blinked a few times. Soon, the eyes regained its normal color. He was a little disappointed, since he was fascinated by the fiery red eyes, but quickly cursed himself for even thinking that.  
"My last question…no, actually a request. Can you not ask me anything anymore? I mean, I was the one who started it, but just…please don't. It reminds me of things I don't want to recall."  
Kurapika nodded as he wondered what kind of person Illumi was.

"Oh, the necklace. Just wait for a while…"  
Nachiru said as she broke off from the trance she was in, and stood up. But when she reached for her bag, Kurapika quietly shook his head.  
"Never mind. Just keep that, it's yours."  
"But…You paid for me."  
"Don't mind. It's nothing much."  
She looked at Kurapika strangely, then shrugged her shoulders.  
"Well, anyway. I'm reminding you again, do not tell anyone about what you saw. I am Miyo, just remember that."  
"Yes. I know."

They did not speak to each other for a while after that. Nachiru got a notebook from her bag and started writing something on it, while Kurapika was taking care of his swords. Then Nachiru said something to Kurapika unexpectedly.  
"_The Spider_…"  
He felt his eyes turn red. The spider. Why did she suddenly bring it up?  
"When I asked you how the Kuruta was destroyed, you thought of _the spider_. What does the Genei Ryodan have to do with spiders?"  
"Wait…did you say, thought? Not said?"  
"Thought. You didn't say anything about spiders, you just thought that. What about spiders?"  
"You can read people's minds?"  
"It depends on who it is, and how intense the person's thoughts or feelings are. In your case, the only thing I could understand were two phrases; _the eyes?_ and _the Spider_, both which only came out when your eyes were red."  
Kurapika was past the point of being mad that she tried to read his mind. It was just…amazing.  
"The Ryodan is also called the Spider."  
"Why?"  
"Its members have a tattoo of a twelve-legged spider on their backs."

Kurapika shifted his gaze from his swords to Nachiru, surprised by the lack of any reaction. It was only then that he noticed she was shaking, eyes red, biting her lip.  
"…Do you, by any chance, know them?"  
He asked, not knowing what to think or hope. She seemed to be the most unrelated person to himself just a few hours ago, but it turned out they had a lot more in common than he ever imagined.  
"Yes. Are you trying to get revenge on them?"  
"…Yes."  
"You can't! You'll be killed!"  
Nachiru shouted, and turned her head violently to face him. Her eyes were red, yes, but Kurapika couldn't tell what exactly was the emotion that made them so.  
"Thank you for telling me that, but I'm aware of the risks involved. I can't turn back now…"  
"You have to, Kurapika! You can't…You won't win against the Ryodan!"  
"Why are you so terrified of them?"  
She just shook her head. Another question she couldn't answer?  
"Nachiru…"  
"I don't want to see anyone die anymore…"  
A tear slid down her cheek. If Kurapika was startled by the events before, he was literally dumbstruck by this. He had enough intuition to know that she had a bad past with the Ryodan, and that she was sick and tired of seeing people die…especially since she had been killing for her whole life. But was that any reason to _cry_? It would be explainable if she was one of those sensitive people, but he knew well that she wasn't.

"You're going to die for nothing…"  
Weren't they strangers until a few hours ago? Why was she acting so violently towards the possibility of death of a stranger? Was it because he was a Kuruta? Kurapika watched, speechless, as Nachiru started to cry. Her shoulders now seemed so small and fragile, as if she was going to disappear into thin air. He went close to her and awkwardly brushed away her tears.  
"You shouldn't be crying. There is nothing that you should feel sad about…"  
Nachiru grabbed the hem of his shirt, and buried her head in his shoulder. She was crying even harder. Kurapika's eyes had long regained its original color, but her eyes remained red. Not entirely sure what he should do, he held her in his arms and tried to calm her. To be honest, he was scared. It was not since the time the Kuruta was destroyed that he had felt the warmth of a person. But the tears of Nachiru scared him even more.

Nachiru continued crying for what seemed like an eternity. Kurapika grew more frightened with each passing moment. Frightened that she would 'break', that she would disappear…That he would just be watching as the girl was destroyed, the way he could only watch his tribe being slaughtered. But eventually, she fell asleep. Kurapika sighed in relief. At least, _she_ didn't vanish like everything else he encountered in life. He laid her down in her bed, and went up to the ship's deck.

"Hey, Kurapika!"  
Kurapika was lying down on the deck, looking at the stars and trying to get over with the things that happened, when a voice came from above. He shifted his gaze and saw a familiar boy with silver hair approaching him. It made him feel a little strange to know that he was talking with the boy's sister just a while ago.  
"Killua? I think it's too late for children to be awake."  
"You're so annoying. You sound as if you're my mom or something."  
"…What are you doing?"  
"Gon kept rolling about in his sleep, and he kicked me off the bed. And now I can't sleep."  
"I see."

Kurapika felt a sudden surge of curiosity take over him. One question that Nachiru didn't answer was the reason why she ran away. Surely, Killua would know the answer.  
"Killua, is everyone in your family an assassin?"  
"Hm? Oh, yeah. My parents, grandfather, two older brothers and one younger sister. Everyone."  
A sudden shadow of sorrow swept through his face. He lied down on the deck, right beside Kurapika, and added in a small voice.  
"I also used to have an older sister. She was only half-related to me, but she cared about me the most."  
"An older sister…"  
"Yeah. She was cool, strong, funny, nice…I really liked her. But…"  
"But?"  
"…Don't tell anyone, okay? I couldn't even tell Gon about this."  
"And you are telling _me_?"  
"I wanted to tell someone. But I don't think Gon will understand, so…"  
"……?"

After a moment of silence, Killua said in a trembling voice.  
"My oldest brother…He…abused her."  
Kurapika doubted Killua for a moment. _It surely couldn't be true._ But when he tilted his head to look at Killua's face, the expression on it clearly told him that Killua was serious. Well, it was pretty hard to believe it, but if that really was the reason, all the pieces fit. How frightened Nachiru was, something that Killua _had_ to tell someone, something that Gon wouldn't understand with his pure, innocent mind.  
"By her real brother?"  
"Only half, but…yeah, he was still her brother."  
"Why do you know about this?"  
"I saw them. Countless times. Of course, Illumi always noticed when I was there so I never really saw _it_, but I saw enough to understand what was going on. My sister never admitted what happened, but I knew. And I couldn't do anything about it…"  
"…I see. Your sister really seems to have had a frightening experience… If that phrase even begins to describe what happened. But you said… you _had_ a sister?"  
"She ran away two years ago. I think she couldn't take it anymore. I want to see her again…part of my reason that I came to the exams is so I can find her."

"I'll go now. See ya."  
"See you tomorrow."  
Killua got up and started walking away. He looked back once though, and tried to form a smile on his hurt face.  
"Thanks for listening to me. It really was driving me crazy… At least I got some of it out."  
"No, I'm sorry that I can only listen."  
Killua just waved his hand and went away. Kurapika also thought it was about time he went back in.

A faint creak escaped when Kurapika opened the door to his room. It was nothing unusual or particularly noticeable, and it was so soft that normal people wouldn't even notice it when they were awake, but it was enough to wake Nachiru up. She almost jumped out of her bed, but when she noticed it was Kurapika, she calmed down. He noticed, though, that her eyes turned red for a moment.  
"Sorry if I woke you up. I was out of the room for a while, so."  
"Don't mind. I'm just being too sensitive."  
She answered, tone of voice showing a hint of relief. So was this how deep the trauma her brother left her was? Two years should have passed since, but even a small noise in the middle of the night was enough to wake her up and put her on guard.  
"Well, good night then."  
"Good night."  
Kurapika answered, but in reality he was still awake for a while after that, his brain overloaded with thought.


	7. Intuition X Keen Hearing X Stormy Day

The sun was not even out yet when Kurapika woke up. It was not because of any noise or other physical disruptions that he was so rudely awoken. No, it was simply too hot. Kurapika, being a part of the Kuruta clan, grew up his whole life in the mountains. Of course, it is common knowledge that higher the altitude, the lower the temperature. So he was not used to heat or humidity. Both of which filled the part of planet the examinees were stuck in at that time.

He sighed, since his instinct told him that he wouldn't be able to sleep again. The climate was really unpleasant to him, and knowing that he had to cope with it for two more days made him feel worse. He looked around the room to see if there was a clock, but instead he saw something that was more attractive to the eye.

"Nachiru…?"  
"Oh, so you're up already? The sun isn't even out yet, you know that?"  
Kurapika was surprised to see Nachiru up already and sitting by the window. It actually took him a while to notice her, since she blended into the darkness so well despite the fact that her silver hair seemed to reflect even the dimmest lights. Was it also one of the skills for killing that she learned as a part of the Zaoldyecks?  
"…The climate doesn't suit me well, I guess. It's too hot, and there's too much humidity."  
Kurapika smiled wryly. Nachiru smiled back at him. He was caught by surprise, and couldn't help but stare at her. She was very beautiful, indeed. She definitely caught the eye.  
"The Kurutas lived in the mountains, right?"  
"Yes. It's the first time for me to visit a place like this."  
"Well, its not that bad for me, since I've been to worse places than this."  
"Really…?"  
"Yeah. If you go the deserts in the southern countries, you literally feel like drying up on the spot."  
"I'd rather not visit those places…"

Then, he noticed an inconsistency between what Nachiru and Killua said. Killua said that it had been two years since Nachiru ran away, but she said, last night, that she traveled for about a year. So what was she doing for the other year?  
"Did you travel for the whole time you were away from home?  
Kurapika asked casually. Nachiru looked at him, face with no expression at all. He felt as if she was seeing right through him. Somehow, she seemed different. She was acting more like…an assassin. He recalled how Killua's atmosphere changed for a moment in the trick tower. That was exactly the atmosphere that surrounded Nachiru at the moment.  
"…No. I lived for a year in the Shooting Star Street."  
He was very surprised at the words that came from her mouth. But when he thought of it, it only seemed natural. Shooting Star Street, the city of people who 'didn't exist'. As a member of the Zaoldyeck family, Nachiru would have been and still should be 'wanted, dead or alive'. Shooting Star Street would have been the perfect place for her to go.  
"But then, an incident happened and I couldn't stay there anymore, so I had to leave."

Nachiru said, as she looked back out the window. It was still dark, but she was intensely focused at something. Then, Kurapika heard a faint noise that sounded much like an airship.  
"You also hear it now?"  
"Yes… Is it a test?"  
"I'm not so sure. Let's go and check."  
She said as she stood up, then she turned into 'Miyo'. Kurapika made a mental note to remember to not call her by her real name, and the both of them ran up to the deck.

By the time they arrived at the deck, most of the other examinees were already there. When they looked up, they saw an airship with the old couple leaving from the island.  
"It's a joke, right?"  
"Is this a test?"  
Many of the examinees started to panic. Miyo alone looked out to the sea. Something didn't feel right, but she couldn't quite place it in words. There also was a small sound, but she couldn't hear it clearly.

"Kurapika!"  
"Leorio… Where are Gon and Killua?"  
"We're here."  
Kurapika, Leorio, Gon and Killua met up at a corner of the deck. Leorio, though, started complaining out loud when he saw Miyo near them.  
"Why are _you_ here?"  
"…I was in the same room as Kurapika."  
Miyo replied, seemingly more amused than irritated. Kurapika was taken aback by the difference in her tone of voice. The chilly air she had a while ago was completely gone, and was replaced by a lively activeness. Really, how many different faces did she have? She seemed like a different person every minute.  
"WHAT? Kurapika, did she do anything weird to you?"  
Leorio blurted out, and was answered by a punch from both Miyo and Kurapika.  
"Why would _I_ do anything? It's supposed to be the other way around!"  
"Why do you always have to talk about vulgar things?"  
Miyo looked out to the sea again, her face filled with doubt.

About five hours passed, and the sun rose, but there was no sign of nothing.  
"Damn, they've really left us! What kind of manager does that? They even charged us."  
"They didn't exactly charge us, Leorio. We just had to give some treasures."  
"But still…"  
Leorio and Kurapika started arguing, while Killua and Gon kept sitting and watching the sea. Miyo sighed. This was not getting them anywhere. Then suddenly, Hanzou came up to them.  
"Those treasures are still here. I just checked the manager's room."  
"…Did they forget it?"  
Gon said, obviously not very happy with what was going on.  
"I don't think so."  
"Then do you say it's a part of the test?"  
Hanzou inquired. Kurapika thought for a while, then shook his head.  
"I don't know. There are too little things to judge from."

"Hey, people! Can you come here for a while?"  
A girl called out to the five who were still thinking. Her name was Ponzu. She brought them to the radio room where a boy about her age was trying to work the radio. But the radio didn't seem to catch anything.  
"Is it broken?"  
"The radio itself has nothing wrong. I think it's the place, or something… Either way, it seems like we are really stranded."  
"Hey, did you hear something?"  
"No. Aren't you imagining things?"  
When Gon said all of a sudden, Killua just answered dismissively. But Miyo nodded.  
"You also hear it? But I really can't tell what it is…"  
"Well… I guess we should try to look for more clues."  
Hanzou said, and the others nodded.  
"Then see you people in an hour, at the deck."  
Miyo said, and she walked out of the room. The others followed.

An hour soon passed, and they all met at the deck.  
"I found this box full of compasses. There are just enough for all the examinees."  
Leorio said, showing them a box.  
"I found some measuring devices."  
"I found this map…"  
Hanzou and Kurapika said, both showing what they found. Everyone crowded in to look at the map. It showed the island they were in, and there also was an arrow pointing to a direction labeled 'Zebelle Island'.  
"Well then, it's a test! Let's go to that island!"  
An examinee who was listening shouted. His partner agreed.  
"It's not that simple. Even if you know the direction, you don't know the distance. How would you know how much food or water to bring?"  
"We can just sail to the island without any food or drinks."  
"That's too vague. We should be careful. I think we should wait for night and look at the stars to make sure of the direction."  
"We do not care! We can go there by ourselves."  
The other examinees agreed, and started to run.

"So…we're the only ones left?"  
Miyo said, looking at the people there. Hanzou nodded.  
"I agree with Kurapika that we should be careful, but we shouldn't waste time. Let's look for more clues."  
Everyone nodded, and started running.

Kurapika, Hanzou and Miyo met each other at the steering room. They all shrugged, saying that they could not find anything.  
"You know…this sea is weird."  
"I agree. My intuition as a ninja tells me that this place is dangerous."  
"I also feel that way. There is something coming…and it should be the main stage for our test."  
They all started thinking without any result.

"Well, a lot of people seemed to have felt that way."  
Suddenly, Leorio's voice brought them back to reality. They were surprised to see that most of the examinees were still there. Miyo smiled, and said.  
"Should we choose a leader?"  
"I think Hanzou should be the leader, and Kurapika should be the sub-leader. Does anyone have any objections?"  
No one said anything.  
"Then that's final."

"Hey!"  
At that moment, Gon and Killua ran in with the ship's diary. Kurapika turned the pages, and read random parts out of it.  
"It seems like this ship was used in a war."  
"Anything about the Zebelle Island?"  
"Yes. It's near, a small boat can reach it in a day."  
They all seemed relieved, but then Gon noticed something and ran to the window.  
"The birds are afraid…"  
Miyo slowly walked to the window, and stood beside him.  
"The noise is getting louder, too…"  
The rest also ran to the window. The sun was reflected on the atmosphere.  
"The atmosphere is distorted."

"The noise again…"  
"I also hear it now!"  
Gon said, followed by Killua. Kurapika, sensing something strange, quickly went through the diary.  
"July 4. The radio waves are cut off. We will abandon this ship tomorrow as the signs of a natural phenomenon started showing…"  
They all listened as they watched a tornado formed in front of their eyes.  
"The signs…?"  
"A natural phenomenon that happens every ten years… A distortion in the atmosphere and a sudden rise in water level… We are right at the beginning of it."

A few hours later, the water level started to fall slowly.  
"Finally, it's over…"  
"No, it's too early to be relieved."  
When Tompa let out a cry of relief, Miyo said quietly. Kurapika nodded, and read out of the diary.  
"24 hours later, the next wave will be coming. And this time… everything will be submerged underwater.

"But how do we get through the storm?"  
"No ships around here can get through a storm like that!"  
When all the examinees started looking desperate, a voice called from above. It was Gon.  
"But we have a ship!"  
"What? Where?"  
"THIS ONE!"

Soon enough, all of them were back in the steering room.  
"This is the blueprint of the ship."  
Hanzou got a piece of paper and spread it.  
"First, let's organize the problems."  
Kurapika said, and Hanzou nodded. He continued.  
"First, separating the side of the ship from the island shouldn't be too hard. The problem is the bow. It's completely lodged into the rocks, and it's impossible to blow it up with regular gunpowder."  
"For that, we should use the cannons of the ship."  
"But for that, we need to get the main engine to work."  
Pokkuru, the boy who tried the radio, said with a concerned look.  
"But that is the only way. Can you try to move the main engine?"  
Pokkuru and Ponzu both nodded.

"Next, the propellers are completely covered with seaweed."  
"We'll take care of that! Right, Killua?"  
"Do we _have_ to…?"  
"Come on!"  
Gon said enthusiastically, but Killua seemed a little reluctant.  
"That should be about it."  
Hanzou said finally.  
"So now we have to put it in action."  
"Are we sure we can do it?"  
Leorio asked Kurapika. But it was Miyo who answered.  
"It's not can or can't, we _have_ to. Unless, of course, you want to die here. Which I presume you don't."  
"Right. Well then, let's go, everyone!"  
Leorio said, and they all ran out.

Miyo, however, stayed in the room. She shot Kurapika and Hanzou a questioning look.  
"Does anyone here actually know how to move a ship? How about the computations? Can anyone actually figure out the wind speed and pressure?"  
Kurapika and Hanzou both were speechless. No, they didn't. No one else seemed to know either. Miyo sighed.  
"You know, even if this ship is absurdly huge, if you aren't careful then the storm can easily sink it. If you don't know when exactly the storm will come, how can you plan anything?"  
"Well…"  
Miyo smiled at their troubled faces.  
"Do you have some paper and a pen?"  
Kurapika and Hanzou both smiled in relief.  
"Well then. I will leave the complicated stuff to the both of you, and I will go to the cannons."


	8. Success X Tears X Smile

For the next few minutes, only the noise of turning pages and scribbling pencils filled the room. From the look of it, everything seemed fine. Everyone seemed to be going on well with their assigned jobs.  
"Nachiru…"  
Kurapika called to Miyo, but was answered by a glare.  
"My name is Miyo. Don't call me Nachiru."  
"…Sorry. How can you compute these things when you can't even see the storm yet?"  
"I can hear it. I have good ears, I think I told you this before."  
"Where did you learn all those complicated computations?"  
"While I was traveling. Once, I ran out of money, and I had to work on a ship."  
"That's interesting. But then, wasn't it hard? Working on the ship, I mean."  
"Hard as in…?"  
"I heard that it's a very tiring job."  
Miyo looked surprised for a moment, and then she started laughing. Kurapika looked at her, startled.  
"Do you _honestly_ think that I am one of those sensitive girls that can't so much as lift a bag by herself? Let me just tell you that I can break this ship in half any moment I want to."  
"…You can?"  
Kurapika just blinked in amazement. She really was one extraordinary girl. In many ways.

Hours passed quickly. Miyo finished the computations quickly and went to help with the more physical work that needed a lot of power. Just as the sun began to set, Kurapika noticed a change in the atmosphere. He called quickly to Pokkuru and Ponzu, who were working on the engine.  
"Pokkuru! Ponzu! How's the engine?"  
"Just a little longer! After we open the circuit, just pray that the engine will move!"  
"Right. Then I will start the countdown…"  
"There is a problem."  
Hanzou's voice interrupted Kurapika.  
"Leorio…he isn't coming up. He was wearing the only diving suit, so if we try to help him, there is a high possibility of a double disaster. I'll leave the final decision to you."  
Kurapika fell down in disbelief. The storm was already coming close. It was less than thirty minutes till the estimated arrival of the ship that Miyo computed. But if Leorio was still alive, executing the plan will mean abandoning him.

"Kurapika? Kurapika!"  
He heard Hanzou yell from the other side of the pipe, but he couldn't answer. Then, he heard another voice from the background.  
"That kid jumped in to save Leorio!"  
"…That kid?"  
Hanzou snapped.  
"Gon! He went in! Kurapika, can you hear me? Miyo should have computed when the storm will arrive here. When exactly is it?"  
"…In 27 minutes and 20 seconds."  
"Right. Killua and I will go to the cannon. Announce the time and plan to the rest of the ship, so that we can start the plan as soon as Gon comes back up."  
"Okay."

Fifteen minutes passed, and everybody was already in their positions. Everyone but Leorio and Gon.  
"Is Gon up yet?"  
Kurapika called out desperately, but the answer was no. They were certainly running out of time, and it seemed as if the only option was to forget about the two. But could he…?  
"Kurapika? Are you there?"  
Suddenly, a voice called to him. Miyo.  
"Miyo?"  
"Yes. I heard what happened from the people here. I'll go down."  
"But you can't! It's too dangerous…"  
"No it isn't. Not for me, anyway. It might take a bit long, though. You can take care of the ship for a few minutes, can't you?"  
"Yes, but…"  
"Then all's fine. Trust me, I _will_ be back."  
Miyo said, and before Kurapika could say anything more, she was gone. Now, Kurapika faced a worse dilemma. It was now three people underwater. Three people that he knew the most and cared the most about.

Miyo, on the other hand, was already deep down underwater. She saw that a large rock was blocking the way, and figured out that both of them were probably locked inside. She aimed carefully, and in a blink of an eye, the huge rock was reduced to countless small pebbles. And there they were, both unconscious from the lack of air.

Miyo got the both of them, and started pulling them up to the surface. But she was surprised by how heavy the diving suit of Leorio was. It was one of those old models, from those times when everything was big and bulky. She staggered at the unexpected weight. She had wasted more oxygen than needed when she smashed the rock, and she was starting to run out of air. She started kicking furiously towards the surface…

On the ship, Kurapika was busy getting everything ready.  
"Pokkuru, Ponzu! Turn the engines on now!"  
"……The heater and turbines are connected, the engines are moving!"  
"Good job! The switchboard! Connect the circuits, and send all power to the cannons! Turn off everything else!"  
"Roger!"

Hanzou was commanding the loading of the cannons.  
"Loading completed!"  
"Got it! Firing squad! Spar, are you ready?"  
Kurapika, hearing Hanzou, called out to the Spar.  
"Ready or not, its just a wall."  
"We want to keep the ship's damage as little as possible. Please aim for the faults."  
"…How's that?"  
"Uh…Yes, that's fine. Wait for shooting instructions."  
She asked after a short pause, and Kurapika answered. Now, the only thing left was the three who were, as far as he knew, still underwater. Miyo…Nachiru told him to trust her, but it was hard under these circumstances. When were they coming up? Time was running.

"Hanzou! This is the launching room…"  
"What happened?"  
"The water is coming in! If this room gets wet, we can't fire the cannons anymore. The most it would last would be about a minute!"  
"Kurapika, you heard that?"  
Hanzou asked through the pipe.  
"We can't wait anymore! Launch the cannons! Are you listening?"  
Kurapika stood there, unable to answer. Then, Killua shouted.  
"Kurapika! They're coming back to the surface!"  
Kurapika raised his face. Nachiru…She really did it. He announced in a clear voice.  
"Got it. Attention everyone! In 30 seconds, we will start firing. Fire all cannons, continue loading and firing as long as possible!"

"Killua…"  
Hanzou gave him a quizzical look. Killua just smiled challengingly.  
"It's not a lie…I think."

"3…2…1…Fire!"  
Kurapika shouted, and there was a deafening thunder soon after. Even Miyo, who was still underwater, could feel the shock of the cannons. She knew that there was no more time. She gave one last kick, and got up to the surface. She handed Gon and Leorio to the people waiting there, and got out of the water herself. Her lungs were screaming for oxygen, and her limbs refused to move. She knew she had to get to the steering room in a minute or so, but her body was simply not cooperating.  
"Hey, girl, are you alright?"  
The last thing she heard before she passed out was a shout from some unknown man.

"5…4…3…2…1…Fire! Switchboard, send some of the electricity to the propellers!"  
"Roger!"  
"Cannons, reload once more! We will use the effects of the third blow to escape from the rocks. All, prepare for it! 3…2…1…Fire!"  
The third blow thundered, and the rock that was holding the ship crumbled. The ship slowly started to move out, and in a few seconds, it was floating in the sea, completely free from land. Kurapika was happy that their plan worked, but worry also started to creep in. Miyo wasn't back yet. Killua said that they were coming back, but did they make it on time? Also, he learned the basic ways how to steer the ship through the manual. But that manual was talking about normal times, not when there were so much waves and wind like now. He was not confident enough to steer the ship by himself.

He didn't let his spirits sink, though. He tried his best, and did pretty fine at first, but then he was thrown of the steering wheel by a sudden shock. He hit the wall, and fell unconscious.  
"Hey, Kurapika, what happened?"  
Hanzou shouted to the pipe, sensing from the sudden shock that something was not going fine. When there was no answer, Killua just said coolly.  
"We probably ran on to a reef. This whole sea is full of them."  
Then, the ship slowly began to tilt towards the tornado.  
"Kurapika! The ship is being sucked in by the tornado. It's tilting too much. If we don't do something, then we're going to sink. Kurapika! Answer me!"  
"…Shoot the tornado."  
Killua said suddenly.  
"We can get the ship back on track by the shock. The tornado might also change its course. 'Hitting to birds with one stone'."

Hanzou's face formed a smile. Where did such a small kid get such ingenious ideas?  
"Nice one, Killua. Spar! Can you do that?"  
"Sure. A lot more interesting than shooting a rock. Leave it to me."  
The woman smiled. A few moments later, another wave of shock ran through the whole ship. The ship seemed to free itself from the reef and started moving. It also stopped tilting. There were cheers from all parts of the ship, and everyone patted each other, congratulating each other.

"Killua, you really are smart. You saved the day!"  
Hanzou said happily, but Killua didn't smile.  
"It's just what Nachiru would have said."  
Hanzou, who did not know who Nachiru was, just chose to ignore that and patted Killua's head. He did not notice that Killua's face twisted into an expression of sorrow and anger.

It was only when the sun started rising that Miyo regained consciousness. She slowly opened her eyes, and was surprised to be lying on the deck. What was she doing there? She couldn't remember at first, but recalled what happened last night after a while.  
"Miyo!"  
She heard Leorio call to her from her back. She turned back, expression filled with amused wonder. So now, even Leorio was talking to her?  
"Uh…I heard you saved my life. Thanks for that."  
"Don't mind. I just did what I was supposed to do."  
Leorio seemed to have forgotten all bad impressions about her. It surprised her how much people can change in just one night. Then she suddenly remembered a more important thing.  
"Hey, Leorio, where is Kurapika?"  
"Kurapika? I think he's in the steering room…"  
Miyo started running, not even bothering to hear the whole sentence. Leorio watched with an incomprehensible expression.

"Kurapika!"  
Miyo shouted as she ran into the room. She saw that he was awake and okay, all for a bandage in his head.  
"Miyo… You're wet all over, did you know that?"  
Kurapika said as he smiled at her. So she _did_ come back. He honestly didn't know why he felt so happy.  
"…Oh shoot, I just now noticed."  
"Didn't you have time to change?"  
"I passed out right after I got to the surface, and I just woke up. So you managed to handle the ship alone?"  
Kurapika shook his head.  
"I ran over a reef, and was thrown back and passed out. I also just woke up."  
"Really? Then who was the one who got this ship back in place?"  
Kurapika shrugged. Miyo looked at him, and started laughing. Kurapika too, started laughing. It was a hard night, but both did all they could. Somehow, it was as if the burdens in the hearts were gone for a while. They continued laughing for no reason at all, until the airship came to pick the examinees up.

Later, in the airship, Kurapika silently walked to Miyo who was standing near a window. He had just ran away from Leorio and Tompa since their conversation annoyed him so much. He did not know where Gon or Killua was, and he was not interested in talking with the other examinees.  
"Miyo…"  
"Oh, it's you."  
She shifted her gaze to Kurapika for a moment, but she looked back to the window after a few seconds. Kurapika walked closer to see what she was watching, and saw Killua and Gon laughing and fooling around.  
"You really care about him, don't you?"  
"…Well, yes. He is my brother after all…The only person who ever accepted me in the family."  
"He also was worrying about you."  
"A lie. He should hate me for what I did."

"…Why do you say that?"  
Kurapika asked with a hint of disapproval. Why did she feel so guilty towards Killua? It was not her fault that she could not stand staying in the house. Miyo, who read parts of his thoughts, shook her head sadly.  
"I left him with the Zaoldyeck family when I knew he despised being there. I could have taken him too if I tried, but I didn't…"  
"That was only because it wouldn't have been a good thing for either of you. He also understands that. It would only have been an unwanted burden on both of you, and Killua understands that well. And…the reason why he came to the exams is so he can find you."  
"…Really?"  
"Yes. I heard it from him a while ago."  
After watching Gon and Killua for a while, Kurapika faced Nachiru.

"There is something that I need to tell you."  
Miyo shifted her gaze to Kurapika for the second time, a little startled with his serious voice.  
"…What?"  
"I…uh…know the reason why you had to run away. I asked Killlua. I have to apologize… I knew that you didn't want me to know, but curiosity took over me."  
"…You……know?"  
"After you told me who you really were, I went up to the deck. I met Killua there, and I asked him about his 'older sister' then."  
"Did you tell Killua that…"  
"No. I haven't told him that you are his sister that he is looking for."  
"…I see."  
She smiled, her eyes surprised but sad. There was no sign of anger, however.

"You aren't…mad at me?"  
"Why should I be?"  
"It is a disrespectful thing to ferret out other people's personal private affairs."  
"Generally speaking, yes. But when did I say that I didn't want you to know? I just said that I don't want to answer it myself. I couldn't say it from my own mouth since it brought back unpleasant memories. You might find it strange, but I'm actually relieved that you know. Maybe I _wanted _you to know."  
"……"

"But…do you despise me for it?"  
"Despise you? For what?"  
"For what I went through. I'm worse off than a street whore."  
"But you didn't even ask for it to happen! There is nothing that you should be ashamed of!"  
Miyo looked up, a little startled by Kurapika's strong tone of voice. She felt like crying.  
"Do you really mean that?"  
"Of course! There is nothing that you should be blamed for."  
"…Thanks. Thank you, Kurapika… You're the only one who'd ever say that. Everyone else looked at me like filth."  
She could feel tears brimming in her eyes, but she blinked them away. Most people who knew about her past just showedshallowpity towards her, then they 'kept their distance'. But Kurapika was different. _He doesn't hate me for it._ Then she smiled completely innocently for the first time in the whole test.  
"I can't ever thank you enough. I think that meeting you was the best thing that happened in my life."  
Of course, when she said it, she meant it in a completely innocent way. But after a few seconds, when the both of them realized the other way that sentence could be taken, their face turned bright red. Then they started laughing again…

* * *

_So the third test ends... finally. As you can see, this is my favorite part in the whole series. I just couldn't resist making it so long._

_Well, I saidsome chapters back that that was the middle point. It turns out that it's just a break point, but not the middle. I have more plans for the continuation right now, so..._

_Thanks again to keia mizuki for always reading and reviewing... and thanks too to all the other readers. I would appreciate it if you guys can also tell me your comments on this story... If you like it or not, things I can improve on, etc._

_Next chapter coming soon...(hopefully)_


	9. Premonition X Fear X Cherished Emotions

During the fourth test, which was to get the plate of your 'target', Gon, Killua, Leorio and Kurapika never once met Miyo. Kurapika was a little worried, but he was glad to see Miyo at the end of the week. Apparently, she also passed.  
"Kurapika! I knew that you'd also pass!"  
"Miyo…"  
"Nice to see you again."  
"Me too."  
They smiled at each other. It seemed as if they have been friends since the start of the world, or perhaps even more than that. Leorio eyed the two suspiciously, but went on mumbling to himself.

"Gon, Killua, the examiners told us all to go to the hall. They want to announce something."  
Kurapika said when he saw the two. Gon looked up, and smiled. He also noticed Miyo beside him.  
"Miyo-san!"  
"Uh…Gon and Killua, right? So you also passed?"  
"Um, yes. I heard that you saved my life in the third exam. I never really got to talk to you after that, so I'm needed to say thank you."  
"Oh, no, it's nothing."  
"Well, I bet they are going to tell us about the last test! I wonder what we are going to do… Come on, Killua!"  
Gon started running, and Killua followed him. Miyo looked at Gon in a weird way.  
"Is he alright?"  
She asked Kurapika. He did not know, so he just shook his head. Then they both went to the hall again.

"Well…What do you think the last test will be?"  
A few minutes later, after the chairman gave them a short, extremely uninformative speech, all of the examinees huddled up in a room and started discussing.  
"Don't ask me, I have no idea."  
Killua said. Kurapika eyed Miyo.  
"Miyo, do you know anything?"  
"What makes you think I do? I've never taken the test before, okay?"  
"It's no use for us, newcomers, to talk about this. Let's ask the people with experience."  
"Hey, don't look at me! I failed in the fourth test three years ago."  
Pokkuru said when the other examinees looked at him. They sighed, and shifted their gaze to Podoro.  
"I failed in the first, last year."  
"That's so bad."

"There's no use!"  
Leorio said dismissively, completely ignoring the fact that he was the one who actually brought it up.  
"But I can predict what it is."  
"What?"  
"A paper test!"  
"WHAT?"  
The examinees listening to that gaped at him. They all showed different reactions, but they all seemed to _not_ like the idea.  
"The last one is the hardest…"  
"Well, yes…A test always has a written part and a demonstrative part."  
"I haven't studied in years!"  
Leorio, Hanzou and Pokkuru started panicking. They all ran out, rushing to the library of the airship. The other were about to follow, when Miyo said incredulously.  
"How can it be a paper test, Podoro-san? That is about the most absurd idea I've heard in ages."  
"I was just guessing."  
"No wonder."

Kurapika, Gon and Killua stood there, apparently shocked. So it was just a lie?  
"Don't scare me like that, old man."  
Killua said, as he sat back down. Gon followed him, and they started talking and fooling around. Kurapika was also about to sit down, when Miyo suddenly stood up and dragged him out of the room.

"Miyo? Miyo, did something happen?"  
Kurapika said, but Miyo didn't answer. She kept walking away from that room. Then, when she got as far as she could go, she turned back and faced Kurapika. She was shaking, and her eyes were flashing red.  
"Miyo…?"  
"He is here… My brother is among the people who passed."  
"What?"  
Kurapika couldn't believe his ears. So did that mean that her brother was among the ten people who passed?  
"I felt his presence twice during the fourth test, and I felt it again when we were talking in that room. He knows who I am, Kurapika! I can't hide…"  
"But… How did he know? Killua still didn't figure it out. And who is he? It can't be us four…"  
"Illumi is different from Killua. Killua is still a kid, after all. I can't tell who it is... I really can't."  
Miyo didn't look up. It was too dark for him to see her face, but her voice was enough to tell how much she was frightened. Her left hand was still grasping Kurapika's arm tightly. Too tightly, in fact, that it actually hurt, but Kurapika couldn't say anything.

"…What can I do, Kurapika? Do you think I should run away?"  
After a long, uneasy silence, Miyo said in a trembling voice. Kurapika noticed a difference in…the way she sounded, he supposed. He pulled her closer, and saw to his surprise that it was Nachiru, not Miyo, who was standing in front of him.  
"Nachiru? You shouldn't…"  
"…I know I'm not supposed to, but I can't keep it when I'm not in a stable state. The way I'm disguising myself…it needs a lot of self-control and concentration."  
"…Calm down, Nachiru. Even if he knows who you are, he didn't do anything, right? He might not care anymore."  
Kurapika said in the gentlest voice he could make. He was not entirely convinced himself, but he was ready to say any lie to calm the girl in front of him. It really seemed as if she would just snap right in front of him, which was the last thing he wanted to happen.  
"…I just hate this. It's been two years, and I'm still so scared of him. I have to get over it, but I just can't."  
"It's not your fault. You've been through a lot."  
"But I feel so pathetic about it."  
"You shouldn't. It's just natural, and you're still adjusting to your new life."  
Nachiru smiled, but her red eyes showed a clear color of fear and sorrow. Again, Kurapika thought guiltily that the eyes were beautiful. They still seemed 'blood red' instead of 'fiery red', but all the same, it was worthy to be considered one of the Seven Beauties of the world. Or was it just because it was Nachiru?

Suddenly, Nachiru hugged Kurapika. He felt his heart beat faster and blood rise to his face. This was the first time he got so close to her, and it made him feel extremely awkward. It also frightened him, in a way. Nachiru was almost as tall as Kurapika, which was really tall for a girl. She also was well-built, something probably acquired from her training as an assassin. But then, she still seemed so small. She seemed so 'breakable'. He was scared that the slightest movement would cause her to crumble like sand and disappear.  
"Sorry…Just for a while…"  
Nachiru whispered, her face buried in his shirt. She wasn't crying, but her whole body was trembling, as if to fight back tears. Kurapika returned the embrace without a word, and waited for her to calm down.

The signs were pretty easy to catch. First, the arms around his back started shaking. Then, Nachiru's silver hair started turning orange, to Miyo's hair. Then, after a few more minutes, Miyo let go of Kurapika.  
"…I'm really sorry. I wish I could manage it by myself, but I don't think I can."  
"Just don't mind. I'm glad that I was of any help."  
Miyo finally looked up, her face with a weary smile.  
"You know, this might sound strange but…"  
"…?"  
"Whenever I'm with you, I feel safe. All my problems seem to be nothing."  
Kurapika looked at her, feeling strange. He was partly happy that she seemed to accept him, but he also felt guilty that he couldn't do anything in real life. Whenever Nachiru felt scared, or when a flashback from the past was haunting her, the only thing that he could do was to be there.

"Kurapika…whenever my eyes are red, you always think of blood, don't you?"  
He was taken aback by a sudden question from Miyo.  
"_Blood red_, instead of 'fiery red'. You always think that."  
"…Yes."  
Kurapika was wondering if she thought he was weird for thinking that. Blood, after all, wasn't exactly the nicest thing to compare a color with. Especially when it came to eyes. But he knew there was no use lying, since she had already read his mind. Her reaction, though, was very different from any he had expected.  
"I used to think that too. When I was still a part of the Zaoldyecks, before I knew anything about the Kuruta, whenever I saw my red eyes in the mirror, I used to think of blood. I still think so."  
"Really?"  
Miyo nodded. She seemed more amused than offended, and Kurapika let out a sigh of relief. Somehow, he couldn't stand for her to think of him in a bad way.  
"Maybe it's because I've killed so much people and saw so much blood."  
"…Fire isn't scarlet, it has more orange in it. The sunset…could be that color sometimes, but not always."  
Both of them nodded in agreement. Every time someone mentioned the phrase 'fiery red eyes', they always felt awkward. Of course, it was not as if they could tell the others that it was actually the color of blood, so they were relieved that there was another person who thought the same way.

"This is an announcement to all examinees. Please come to the examiner's room when your number is called. Thank you."  
Suddenly, the loudspeaker rang out through the airship, jerking the two back into the 'real world'. They noticed how close they were standing to each other, and both of them moved a step back. Both saw color rising to the other's cheeks.  
"Examinee number 3, please report to the examiner's room now."  
"Oh…It seems like I have to go now."  
"Um…Yes. Do you think it's about the last test?"  
Miyo shook her head. She walked away embarrassedly, and with her back to Kurapika, she waved and said.  
"See you."  
She could feel herself blushing, though she was not entirely sure of the reason why. The only thing she knew was that she didn't want Kurapika to see her blush. Naturally, she did not know that Kurapika was feeling exactly the same way.

Miyo knocked on the door of the examiner's room nervously. She was sure that this was not the last test, but she it didn't mean that she knew what the Chairman wanted. If he asked why she was disguising herself (all the examiners knew her real identity, of course), she was not sure if she could answer.  
"Come in, come in."  
The Chairman's friendly voice called to her, and she tentatively opened the door. She was surprised to see a photo of each examinee on the table. The Chairman, with his usual incomprehensible smile, was sitting on one side of the table. She walked closer, and sat on the other side.  
"You don't have to be so nervous, Nachiru…or should I call you Miyo?"  
"Whichever way does not matter right now. But please call me Miyo in front of the other examinees."  
"Well, then, Miyo. I just want to ask a few questions, that's it."

Miyo held her breath. What was he going to ask? If it was anything about her past, she didn't want to answer anything. But she was totally taken off guard by his unexpected question.  
"Who among these do you pay the most attention to?"  
She blinked a few times. _What in the world did he want?_ She looked at him suspiciously, but he kept his annoying smile. She sighed, and pointed to the picture of Killua.  
"After all, he _is_ my brother."  
"Hm. But you haven't told him yet?"  
"I never planned on telling him."  
"Do you want to fight him?"  
"…_What_?"  
"I asked you if you want to fight with your brother. You know, to check on how strong he became?"  
Miyo shook her head. Fighting with Killua wasn't the most appealing idea to her. Yes, she was confident that she would win, but she did not want to bring his darker side out. But then, if that was part of the test…  
"I don't want to , but I will if I have to."  
The Chairman nodded, and wrote something down.

"The next question is…who do you _not_ want to fight?"  
Miyo raised her eyebrow. Exactly _what_ was going on in his mind?  
"Well…Killua is one. But then, again, I will fight him if I have to."  
"Is there anyone that you wouldn't want to fight no matter what?"  
Kurapika suddenly came to her mind. He was someone who she _couldn't_ fight, no matter what. Of course, if she actually did, she was confident of her victory, but that was the last thing on her mind. He helped her so much times, and attacking him was unthinkable. Also, what if she lost control of herself and killed him during the duel? A chill ran through her spine.  
"I wouldn't want…I can't fight Kurapika."  
She answered with a trembling voice. The Chairman broke into a wider smile.  
"Love?"  
Miyo blushed. _No, it isn't._ She said in her mind, but felt her feelings betray her. She knew that Kurapika was more important to her than the other examinees, and the feelings she had towards him couldn't have only been because he was a fellow Kuruta. But she wasn't sure if that feeling could be called love. The only affection she felt before was her sisterly love towards Killua, trust towards her dead friend…and well, how she loved her pet dog a long time ago, before he was turned into the guard dog of the Zaodlyeck mansion. The life she had led did not allow her any other affections than that.

"…I can't say anything about that."  
"No one is ever sure at first. Then it dawns on them at one point."  
The way the Chairman said it made her feel as if she was talking to her grandfather. Zeno, though he never really was home, was one of the few people in the Zaoldyeck household that actually talked to her. Not that much, but it was better than how her stepmother and Milluki ignored her most of the time.  
"So you think I love him?"  
"You are, are you not?"  
"…Do you mind if I leave now?"  
Miyo said, trying to avoid any more questions. The Chairman looked at her, nodded, and started laughing. She did not know why he was, and left the room confused and embarrassed.


	10. Final Test X Illumi X Time to Tell

Three days had passed when they finally arrived at the hotel where the last test was going to be held. Miyo, Kurapika, Gon and Killua all had a fun time, exploring the airship, drinking tea, talking, and doing the usual things they did when friends hang out, while Leorio, Hanzou and Pokkuru were suffering a mental breakdown because of the 'paper test'. Naturally, when they arrived at the test site, the two groups had very different facial expressions.

Miyo looked at Kurapika nervously while they silently walked towards the room where the test was going to be held. No one dared to speak a word, but they all felt each other's anxiety and excitement. Kurapika, though, also felt Miyo's fear. She had been acting normally after she was called to the examiner's room, but he still remembered clearly how her brother's presence scared her. He also knew that the nervous looks she kept shooting at him came from that, not the test. He smiled and nodded reassuringly, hoping it would make her feel better. She tried to return a smile, but it only made her face contort into an awkward expression.

The examinees entered the hall, only to be astounded by the grandeur of the whole place. Of course, there were certain people who were unmoved, namely Miyo, Killua, Hisoka and Gitarakuru. Miyo and Killua, both being a member of the Zaoldyecks, used to live in a house which was larger and more decorated than the grand ballroom of the hotel. Hisoka and Gitarakuru, simply put, did not show any emotions at any time, so there really was no way to tell.

The examinees watched as all the examiners entered, the last one being the Chairman himself. There was a large board set up in the front, and the Chairman stopped in front of it.  
"The last test will be a one on one tournament."  
He said, as Mermen took out the cloth that was covering the board. The examiners watched in horror. There was only one line leading to the top of the chart. Did that mean that there will be only one who will pass this year?  
"Oh, don't worry. The line is the not the winner, but it is the loser."  
Everyone was taken off guard by his words. _What the…  
_"You just need to win once to pass the hunter exams. The losers go on with the tournament, and the last one to remain will be the only one _not_ to pass the exams."  
Some examinees sighed in relief.  
"Let me just make some rules clear. It's quite simple, you just have to make the other person admit his…or her defeat. But, if you kill your opponent, you will be disqualified and the remaining examinees will automatically pass the exams."  
Most of the examinees looked at Hisoka, but Miyo alone looked at Killua. She knew that her brother didn't go around killing people for no reason, but there was a possibility that he would 'snap'. Of course, that didn't happen so often, but anything was possible during the exams.

After a few quarrels and explanations, they were finally ready to get on with the exams. Miyo saw that the first match on the right side was Kurapika vs. Hisoka. She cursed his bad luck…of all the people, why did it have to be Hisoka? Aside from Killua, he was the only one who would actually _kill_. His purpose was not to be a hunter, but rather to enjoy, which meant that depending on the situation Kurapika put himself in, he could be killed. She noted that the first match on the left side was Hanzou and Gon. She prayed that the left side would go first…but as always, her hopes were betrayed.  
"First match! Number 44, Hisoka versus Number 404, Kurapika. Come forward."  
She bit her lip as the referee shouted those words. Kurapika nodded to her.  
"I'll try to win."  
"…Don't try _too_ hard."  
He smiled, and walked towards the middle of the room. He wasn't exactly keen to fight the seemingly most dangerous person among all, but if this was part of the test, he had no choice. He drew out his double-sword, and assumed the simplest but effective form of Kuruta two-sword fighting.

The other examinees watched in awe as Kurapika and Hisoka fought. Of course, Hisoka was taking an easy lead, but Kurapika was also fighting well.  
"I never knew Kurapika was so strong…"  
Leorio muttered, appalled by the unexpected capability of his companion, but Miyo stood with her eyebrows furrowed. Kurapika _was_ strong for a normal person. His moves were accurate, and he had enough speed. It would have been ideal if he had more power, but it was still more or less fine. She also wanted him to win. The problem, however, was that Kurapika was _not_ fighting against a normal person.

"He will never win against Hisoka."  
She said with a tone of finality. Leorio glared at her.  
"Why do you say that? Aren't you supposed to be cheering for your boyfriend?"  
Miyo was about to talk back when Killua butt into the conversation.  
"She's right. He never killed a person, has he?"  
"What?"  
Miyo nodded. Of course, Killua should know. It was part of the compulsory training to become an assassin.  
"That's the biggest difference between the two. If one has killed before or not, or, if one hesitates when he kills or not. These points come forward as big differences in actual fighting."  
"But you get disqualified when you kill, right? So Hisoka can't kill Kurapika."  
Gon said innocently, but Killua replied violently.  
"That's not the point! Plus, Hisoka couldn't care less about being disqualified!"  
"I meant that those things affect the way people fight. But, the problem is in the more fundamental part, Gon. Their basic fighting skills are too different…"  
"But he's fighting evenly…"  
Leorio tried to argue, but Miyo glared at him furiously.  
"Exactly _what_ is wrong with your vision? Even? Don't make me laugh. Hisoka isn't even putting in a fourth of his real strength."  
Miyo bit her lip. This match could end anytime, up to the decision of Hisoka. But depending on when he decides to end it, the results could be so different. Would it be when he simply gets bored, or when Kurapika receives a serious injury…or will it be when Kurapika dies? Everything depended on Hisoka.

Right at that moment, one of Kurapika's swords broke off.  
"Kurapika! Stop it, you can't win…!"  
Miyo shouted, but Kurapika didn't seem to hear anything. He took his form again, and ran blindly towards Hisoka. They kept attacking and defending, and there were some close blows. Then, at one point, Hisoka started to act strange.  
"Hey, Kurapika, just give up! Those aren't good signs!"  
She heard Leorio shout to Kurapika, but it seemed to be useless. She was desperately trying to keep her eyes from turning red. She was so scared that Kurapika would be killed. She was sure that if they went on fighting, Hisoka would decide to kill him. Of course, she could have ignored her eyes and stopped the match by force. But that meant getting Kurapika disqualified…and it also meant her revealing her true identity to Killua…and to Illumi, who was among the examinees.

"Kurapika!"  
Miyo shouted, trying to catch his attention. She actually knew the most basic concepts of _nen_ already, so she saw the danger of the situation more than anyone.  
"You don't have to become a hunter with _this _match! You still have three more chances!"  
Kurapika's eyes moved ever so slightly hearing her voice. He could tell that she was starting to panic, which wasn't a good sign since it meant her eyes might also turn red. But, he was at a point where he could no longer look back… Hisoka smiled when he saw his opponents reaction to Miyo's voice. Suddenly, he seemed to be back to his usual self, and his aura was also gone.  
"You know, what your girlfriend is saying is true? I would kill you if you go on fighting. Well, I'll tell you something since you fought so well."  
Kurapika still had his sword at eye level, and didn't put his guard down. Hisoka didn't give a heed, walked towards Kurapika, and whispered something in his ear. Then, Kurapika's eyes flared up into bright scarlet.

"Number 44! Where are you going?"  
The referee shouted when Hisoka started to walk away. Hisoka turned around, and said in what _would have been_ an innocent voice if Gon was the one who said it.  
"I give up. I decided to pass the test on the next match."  
He turned back again, and walked out without even hearing the answer. The referee was apparently startled, but he said in a clear voice.  
"Uh…Winner, Number 404, Kurapika!"  
Upon hearing those words, Miyo started to run towards Kurapika. She couldn't hold it anymore. She still didn't know the reason, but the match made her realize how much Kurapika meant to her. At that moment, she felt that losing him was the worst thing that could have happened to her, rather than Illumi finding her. She ran up to him, and hugged him tightly.

"You idiot."  
"…Sorry. I lost all thoughts at one point."  
"You could have gotten killed."  
"I know."  
"That's why I told you not to try too hard. Please don't force yourself anymore. I don't want to see you die…"  
Her voice trailed off. She let go of him, and saw that he was closing his eyes. She hesitantly asked him.  
"What did Hisoka say to you?"  
"……"  
"Well, to be honest, I actually heard what he said."  
Kurapika opened his eyes. It was back to its original color.  
"Don't do anything rash."  
"I know."  
"Congratulations, Kurapika."  
"…Thank you."

The next match was Gon vs. Hanzou, and though he broke an arm and was left unconscious, Gon won the match. The tournament went on, the matches that followed being in the order of Hanzou vs. Pokkuru, Podoro vs. Hisoka, Pokkuru vs. Killua. Then finally, after those four matches, it was Miyo's turn to fight.  
"Next match, Number 3 Miyo versus Number 301 Gitarakuru! Come forward."  
"Miyo…"  
"I'll be careful. Don't worry."  
Kurapika tried to say something, but Miyo didn't let him finish his sentence. She smiled fearlessly, and turned back. She had tried to act confident, and was pretty sure she succeeded, but she was shaking inside. The possibility that Gitarakuru could be Illumi had just dawnedon her, and it made her more than nervous. Little did she know that Kurapika, who was watching her back uncertainly, was also thinking along the same lines. If Gitarakuru _was_ indeed Illumi, then the best thing for her to do was to give up that match.

"Miyo! Do your best!"  
Leorio shouted, but Kurapika didn't feel like telling her to fight. Killua, too, watched her with apprehension. Kurapika had noticed that Killua seemed to be noticing some 'similarities' between Miyo and Nachiru lately, and it seemed to him that Killua would figure it out sooner or later.

He watched the two face each other with strained breath. It made him feel a little guilty to think that Miyo…Nachiru also had to go through this kind of tension. He saw Miyo clench her fist, and look at her opponent indignantly. She also seemed to be aware of the possibility. She didn't even dare to blink, afraid to miss any movement from him.

"Miyo-san, huh?"  
Gitarakuru spoke all of a sudden. Miyo's eyes turned scarlet, and she opened them wide with fear and shock. Her legs gave in, and she was on the floor, looking up at Gitarakuru with fearful eyes which looked more like blood than ever.  
"What is wrong with you? Did you forget all about me?"  
Killua also opened his eyes wide with shock. That voice which didn't match Gitarakuru's appearance at all…it was all _too_ familiar.  
"…Illumi…"  
"So it was…"  
Kurapika muttered softly when he heard Killua. Gitarakuru _was_ Illumi. Then…  
"Miyo! Just forget about this match!"  
"He calls you Miyo? Haven't you told him anything?"  
Gitarakuru started to pull out some of the needles. Miyo watched, trembling, and started to crawl backwards. Slowly her disguise started to disappear, and before long, she turned back completely to Nachiru. It was just like the time in the airship, when fear and panic made her lose 'Miyo' for a while.

Gon and the other examinees watched, speechless at the transformation. _Who was this beautiful girl that appeared out of nowhere?_ They didn't understand anything that was going on. Kurapika glanced at Killua, who was gritting his teeth with an expression of frustration. Was he mad at Nachiru for not telling him anything, or was he mad at himself for not being able to notice anything? Either way, there was no more need to worry about her real identity being known.  
"Nachiru! Are you listening to me? Just forget this match!"  
"Nachiru…you…you knew?"  
Killua asked him, his eyes glowing with anger at the betrayal. Kurapika nodded, only to be answered by Killua's rage.  
"Why didn't you tell me _anything_? You _knew _that I was looking for her!"  
"She told me not to. I am sorry…"  
"Damn it…So you know everything? _Everything_? Even about Illumi and Nachiru?"  
"…More or less."  
Leorio, obviously confused with the sudden panic, asked both of them.  
"Hey, hey, hey, what are you talking about? And Miyo…no, Nachiru? Her eyes are…"  
"She is half Kuruta."  
Kurapika answered concisely, and told him to be quiet. He needed to know what was going on between Nachiru and Illumi.

"Oh, he knows? Never mind."  
Illumi, now completely back to his real form, said in a seemingly innocent voice. Nachiru was still shaking with fear, but she managed to say a word in a hoarse voice.  
"…W…hy?"  
"Why am I here? Father told me to get a hunter license. It's pure luck that you were also here."  
He said, and started to walk towards Nachiru. It was obvious to everyone…even those who did not know the story… how much she feared the man who was standing in front of her.  
"Nachiru, you became so beautiful. The last time I saw you, you still looked a little childish, but now… Don't you ever think of coming home?"  
"…No."  
"No? Why not?"  
She staggered back, but he caught her chin and made her look up. Her eyes were shining bright scarlet, more vividly than Kurapika had ever seen them.


	11. Crimson X Anger X Deal

"Curse him…"  
Kurapika could not forgive Illumi for even going close to Nachiru, let alone touch her. His eyes, too, were scarlet. Only that the emotion that made his so was anger. He wanted to stop the match before anything else happened. He started to run towards them, but Leorio kept him back.  
"Don't, Kurapika! It's her that you're gonna get disqualified if you go there."  
"Let me go! What do _you_ know…"  
They struggled for a while, but Kurapika stopped resisting when Killua spoke in a quiet voice. Quiet, but filled with anger.  
"Kurapika, don't."  
"Killua?"  
"…We can only watch. Even if you go there, Illumi will probably kill you."  
"But…"  
"Do you want to be killed in front of my sister? _I_ will not let that happen."  
He said threateningly. A trail of blood fell from the corner of his mouth. He was biting his lip so furiously that it was bleeding.  
"He's right, Kurapika. Can't you feel the bloodthirstiness even from here?"  
Kurapika stood frozen in his tracks, unable to decide what to do. Killua was right. What could he do against Illumi when he couldn't even match Killua or Nachiru? He did not want to be killed, not now, when he hadn't even avenged his tribe yet. But Nachiru… There were too much mixed feelings inside him.

"Nachiru."  
Illumi tried to talk to her, but Nachiru seemed to be too scared to say anything. Her jaws were chattering, and she didn't even blink. She didn't even dare to pry herself loose from his hand.  
"Don't be so scared, Nachiru. I missed you a lot, did you know that?"  
He leaned down to her and kissed her lips softly. She shuddered, loathing the kiss but too frightened to do anything.  
"Won't you come back? I'll still bring you back by force even if you don't want to, but…which do you want?"  
"No, please…"  
"Hmm, what shall I do?"  
"Just stop it, Illumi. Please…!"  
"…Hey, Nachiru. What exactly is up between you and that boy…Kurapika, right?"  
"What…"  
"Did you do anything?"  
"……What are you saying…?"  
"No? I'm a bit relieved. I would have shred him into pieces if he dared to touch you, but it seems like there's no need."  
"…Don't you even dare..."  
"Is he that important to you? He makes me jealous."

Kurapika listened to their conversation, seething with rage inside. He could also feel Killua's hatred towards Illumi. Leorio and the others watched with confusion. Even the examiners seemed to be unsure of what to do.

"Wait, so they are brother and sister?"  
Kurapika nodded in response to Leorio's question. His gaze never wandered from Nachiru and Illumi, though. Leorio continued, apparently still not getting hold of the situation.  
"But then, their conversation doesn't seem like…"  
"It's the same as always."  
Killua said with such a tone of abhorrence that even Kurapika looked at him.  
"It's always the same. I'm always here, but I can never do anything…!"

"Nachiru, I won't do anything to Kurapika if you will come back."  
"……"  
"If you don't…you know what will happen, right?"  
Illumi took a lock of her silver hair and brushed it lightly with his lips.  
"Or, do you want me to rape you in front of him so you can forget about him?"  
"No…Stop it…! I don't want to hear anything…"  
"Even if you say that, I have the last say, not you."  
Illumi was obviously enjoying himself. He undid the first button of Nachiru's shirt with a sadistic smile.

"Shoot, is he serious?"  
"Illumi is always serious. Can't you tell, or are you blind?"  
"…I can't stand it any longer."  
Kurapika pried himself free from Leorio furiously and tried to go to the two. But, this time, Killua grabbed his arm and kept him back.  
"Why do you stop me? You also want to stop it, don't you?"  
"You are gonna get killed, don't you understand?"  
Killua shouted angrily at Kurapika.  
"It's my sister you're gonna hurt if you get shredded into pieces!"  
"But…"  
"There's nothing you can do, there's nothing I can do! The only thing we can do is watch…"  
Killua's distressed voice brought back a little sense to Kurapika. He shouted to the chairman.  
"Netero-san! Stop this match at once!"  
Kurapika's shout brought the chairman out of a sort of trance he was in. He too, as the other examiners, was shocked, but after a moment, he shook his head.  
"Neither have admitted defeat nor have died."  
"But…!"  
"Kurapika-kun. Those two are the only times when a match ends. I have stated the ruled clearly at the beginning, have I not? Nothing else can stop the match."

"Nachiru, do you seriously have no intention to come back home?"  
"Do you expect me to?"  
Nachiru answered with as much loathing she could gather, but it was still overshadowed by fear. Her voice was shaking against her will. Illumi, on the other hand, was still smiling sadistically with perfect composure. It was obvious to anyone's eyes that Illumi had the upper hand.  
"I'll kill Kurapika."  
"No…"  
"You don't want that? Then tell me that you'll come back home. Come back to me."  
"Why does it have to be me? It can be anyone…"  
"No. It _has_ to be you, somehow. So…Are you listening to me?"  
Nachiru staggered back some more, only to find the cold, stone wall behind her back. _No more place to hide…_ Illumi pinned her to the wall and undid her second button. Tears flowed out of her blood-red eyes without stopping, but she no longer cared. _Fear_. That was the only thing she felt or saw.

"Look, Kurapika is watching. Aren't you ashamed that you're letting your brother do this to you?"  
"Just stop it! Please…"  
"If you can kill people by just your gaze, I'd probably be dead a hundred times already. Oh, Kill is stopping him from coming here, but Kill also can't hold it much longer either, I suppose. He's gonna let go soon."  
"I don't want to hear anything…!"  
"If Kurapika tries to interfere, I'll kill him, okay? Even if I get disqualified this year, I can just get the license next year. It's so sad, he's wasting his life just for you…"  
"…Please…don't do anything to him."  
"_If_ you come back."  
Illumi said, his tone suddenly becoming serious. The smile was also gone from his face, and he seemed to be devoid of all emotion for a moment. Nachiru tried to say something, but couldn't so much as move her lips.  
"Answer me, or I'll just kill him even if he won't interfere."  
"……"

Nachiru looked up, eyes filled with panic. She succeeded in moving her lips this time, but her voice still couldn't be heard.  
"What? I can't hear you."  
"I…I'll do anything, just don't do anything to Kurapika…"  
Illumi seemed to be satisfied with the answer. He stood up, and faced the referee who was shocked beyond words.  
"I lose. My next opponent is Kill anyway."  
He said without any hesitation, and walked out of the room. He walked past Kurapika at one point. Kurapika looked as if he wanted to bite Illumi's head off, but Killua held him back the whole time. Killua was also glaring at Illumi with much detest, however. He only let go of Kurapika when Illumi shut the door behind him. No, he ran with Kurapika towards Nachiru.

"Nachiru!"  
Both shouted, but she didn't respond. Her red eyes were opened wide but they didn't seem to be seeing anything.  
"Nachiru…"  
Kurapika shook her shoulders, feeling the same old fear again. _Was she going to disappear? Just like this?_ Slowly, Nachiru shifted her gaze to him, and finally noticed the two of them.  
"Kurapika…Killua..."  
She looked as if she didn't know who to talk to first. Finally, she just said two words to the both of them.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Why do you apologize? The fault is not yours!"

"I have to say sorry…I'm always just there, watching, not able to help you…"  
Killua's voice was quavering, and a tear ran down his cheek. It was hard to imagine him like that from his usual confidence, but that was what the others were seeing.  
"Always…_always_…"  
Nachiru pulled her crying brother closer and hugged him. Her shoulders were shaking, no longer for fear but for her love towards her brother.  
"Sorry, Killua… I always end up showing you how pathetic I am. I always give you a hard time. Today, _that day_…"  
"No...that's not it!"  
"I wish I could have told you earlier, but please understand… We just met again and I have to go back already…."

Her voice trailed of, and she slowly let go of Killua. Killua was biting his lip again, which formed another trail of blood in the corner of his mouth. Nachiru faced Kurapika next.  
"Nachiru…"  
"…Kurapika!"  
Nachiru hugged him tightly and started crying bitterly. Distress ran through him when he realized, _finally_, how deep her trauma was…how heavy the burden she carried was.  
"…Nachiru…"  
He tried to say something in a hoarse voice, but he couldn't finish the sentence. He couldn't think of anything to say. _Everything is over_? But she still has to go home, just because of him _You don't have to worry_? Who was he to say that when all he did was watch?  
"Don't… Don't to say anything."  
She said through her sobs, reading part of his thoughts. She didn't want words. It wouldn't have helped. What she needed was his warmth… Warmth to bring back senses to the things Illumi's ice-cold touch had numbed. Warmth to melt the part of her soul that Illumi had frozen. She needed a proof that 'Nachiru' still existed, that she had not yet become a lifeless doll for Illumi to play with.

"Um…Sorry to disturb you, but I would like to start the next match…"  
One of the referees walked up to them after a few minutes of hesitation. They were having certainly having 'a moment', but it didn't change the fact that the hunter exams were still going on. Kurapika nodded, and carried Nachiru to a corner of the hall. He was surprised at how light she was. He had expected a little more weight considering her height and build, but she proved to be as light…or even lighter than Gon or Killua. It again made him feel as if she was going to disappear.

"Are you seriously going home?"  
Kurapika asked in a low voice. He felt anger towards Illumi, towards Nachiru, and most of all towards himself. Why? Why was it that Nachiru was the one who suffered? Why couldn't he do anything about it? Moreover, why was he feeling this way? Everything made him frustrated.  
"Do I have a choice? If I don't, he'll kill you."  
"What does it matter if I die? I was just a plain stranger until a few days ago, and you threw away your freedom! Why did you do that?"  
"Stranger…huh?"  
Nachiru repeated in a slightly sad tone. Her eyes had turned back to its normal color, and there was sadness within them. _Stranger_. It was just one word, very true, even, but it still hurt her so much. Yes, after all, they were just strangers. They wouldn't have known each other if it wasn't of the hunter exams, and they would just have parted ways after it. She knew that too well, but somewhere, she had been hoping that she could stay with him a little longer.

"I'm sorry I involved you in all this… If it weren't of me, you would never have gotten mixed up in such a complicated thing."  
It was only then that Kurapika became aware of his gaffe. _Stranger_. He noticed how cold that word sounded.  
"I didn't mean…"  
"Sorry."  
Nachiru stood up before Kurapika saw her tears again. Too much things had happened that day, and she just wanted to forget it all. It wasn't like her to be so sentimental, and she certainly didn't want Kurapika to see her in such a pathetic state. If what she showed him before wasn't pathetic enough. Her legs were still shaking and her steps tottering.  
"Goodbye, Kurapika. It was such a short time, but…I was glad I got to know you."  
She said, keeping her back to him. Then she walked outside the door.

Kurapika, after he recovered from his shock, followed Nachiru outside. He had to stop her before it was too late. He also had to apologize for what he said…he did not mean it that way. He did not mean to hurt her more than she already was.  
"Nachiru…"  
He finally caught up to her in the dark hallway of the hotel. But when he was about to reach out to her, he noticed a cold presence behind his back. He looked back, and sure enough, it was Illumi.

"You…!"  
Kurapika and Nachiru's eyes turned scarlet in the same moment. Illumi looked at them with an indifferent expression for a while, then hit Kurapika with the side of his hand. The motion was quick and accurate; a flawless move of a trained assassin. Kurapika saw the attack, but he didn't have the speed to dodge it.  
"Kurapika!"  
Nachiru screamed in horror when he fell unconscious to the ground. Illumi looked at her with a fairly amused face, and said with scorn and incredulity.  
"I didn't kill him. You, of all the people, should be able to tell."  
"……"  
Nachiru looked at him with fearful eyes. Little did she know that this was the exact thing Illumi loved about her. How her eyes reminded him of blood. How her face seemed to freeze for a moment. How she didn't even dare to blink in front of him. Illumi did love his younger sister, if only in his own perverse way. He wouldn't have said that she was his world, but she was what added color to his world. The two years he spent without her was little better than hell, and he was determined to get her back no matter the price. She didn't have to love him back, she was not _supposed_ to, but she had to be within his reach.

"Hurry up, go home already. I'll listen to the lecture about the cards for you, and tell you later if you ever need to know. Or else, I'll hit him again. This time, seriously."  
Nachiru's face went sheet white. Another thing that Illumi loved about her. He smiled to himself, happy to know that he had her back.  
"…Right."  
"That's my girl."  
Illumi said, and started walking towards the hall if nothing had happened. Nachiru looked back at Kurapika once, then started to run out of the hotel.

* * *

_Okay, first of all... Please don't blame Kurapika for not saving Nachiru. Take note that he wanted to, but he was held back by Killua, whose overall strength was 4 tons at this point. And please don't get mad at me for being so mean... This was necessary for the next part of the story: the Zaoldyecks._

_Thank you to keia mizuki, angel61991, Sea-Salt Ice Cream and Danielle Lotzof for reviewing!_


	12. Regret X Underlying Intentions X Advice

When Kurapika opened his eyes, he saw a white ceiling. He blinked a few times, trying to remember how he ended up there. After a few seconds of innocent wondering, everything came flooding back to him. He sat up violently, cursing himself for losing his consciousness, only to find out that Illumi's blow still kept him dizzy. It infuriated him even more to know how small he was compared to Illumi.

"Kurapika! You're finally awake!"  
Leorio burst into the room as Kurapika was getting out of the bed. He seemed to be a hurry, breathing heavily with a sweaty brow.  
"Nachiru and Killua…They both went home!"  
"Went…home…?"  
Kurapika repeated, his head blank for a moment. Yes, he knew about Nachiru… It was as if _he_ forced her to go, but Killua? Why did he also go home? Was there any need for him to? Kurapika was sure that Killua easily would have passed the test.

"He…killed Podoro. Right after a match with Illumi…"  
"Illumi…?"  
Kurapika felt his eyes turn red. So it was him, _again_. Illumi seemed to haunt Kurapika and stand in his way wherever he went.  
"He kept telling Killua that he didn't deserve to have friends, that he was going to kill Gon sometime anyway, that he an unfeeling person for not protecting Nachiru… I think something snapped in him."  
Kurapika gritted his teeth. If cursing was a valid way of killing someone, he could have killed ten thousand Illumis at once. He had never, _never_ felt such violent hatred towards anyone before.  
"There will be a briefing about the hunter cards now… Are you coming?"  
"Of course!"  
He snapped at Leorio, and followed him to the room where the briefing was to be held.

When the two went in the room, they saw that most of the examinees were already there. Or shall we say the new hunters, since they were no longer examinees? There were just two lacking; Hisoka and Illumi. Kurapika, obviously not happy with the situation, grabbed the nearest chair violently and sat down. Nachiru's beautiful smile and Illumi's blank face kept flashing by turns inside his head. Both of which only made him feel sick.

He was so preoccupied that he did not even notice when the Chairman and the other examiners came in. He only came back to reality when the briefing started, to which he did not pay much attention to. He just heard the person explaining while being absorbed in his thoughts…

"So, I guess this is it for the explanation. Does anyone have any questions?"  
The voice of the man echoed in the room, but no one raised their hand. Kurapika glanced back, and saw Illumi sitting three rows behind him. So he _was _back. He needed the briefing to end as soon as possible, so he can ask Illumi about Nachiru. His thoughts were interrupted though, by Gon bursting through the door.  
"Illumi!"  
He shouted in wild anger, and went straight to Illumi. He grabbed Illumi's arm and threw him across the room. Illumi, though, seemed to be expecting this, and landed casually on his feet.  
"…You are Kill's little friend, right? What do you want? It's not polite to throw people without even giving your name, you know?"  
"Shut up! Why did you tell Killua to go home?"  
"Because he is _supposed_ to be home."  
"He doesn't want to go home! And you told him that he doesn't deserve to be my friend, right? You don't need any right to become friends!"  
"That's not for you to decide."  
Gon looked ready to bite Illumi's head off, but Illumi kept his poker face.

Kurapika and Leorio was dumbfounded by Gon. From the look of it…it seemed as if he had also heard what happened. Kurapika couldn't tell if he was told about Nachiru, though. The reason why Nachiru went home was, after all, not something that you could easily tell to a twelve year old. Kurapika clenched his fist and walked towards them. Either way, he also had to settle some things with Illumi…

"Illumi Zaoldyeck, may I ask you a few questions?"  
When Kurapika spoke in a quiet but wrathful voice, Illumi let go of his poker face for the first time. He had a clear expression of dislike. The thought of any other person, man _or_ woman, going near Nachiru was simply unacceptable. The way Nachiru reacted when he threatened to kill Kurapika was also irritating. _He seems to hate me, and I don't blame him for it. _Illumi thought. _But I also hate him. As much as or even more than he hates me.  
_"…Kurapika, right?"  
"Where is Nachiru?"  
Kurapika continued, not bothering to answer Illumi's question. Illumi raised his eyebrow with disapproval, and there was cold anger deep inside his jet-black eyes that usually hardly ever showed any emotion. The aura reeking from him was enough to make anyone flinch, but Kurapika didn't so much as blink. There was the same hate and anger in his azure eyes.  
"She's back home, obviously."  
"Where is that?"  
"Why should I tell you?"

Gon looked at the both of them in confusion. Satotsu told him that Nachiru went home, but he didn't explain the details. He said Gon was too young to understand. So… Whatever the reason was, he was sure it had something to do with Kurapika and Illumi. Gon was surprised to be honest, since Kurapika was usually gentle, and it was unbelievable to see him so mad. Illumi, too, acted so different. He didn't even bother to look at Gon, but he was glaring at Kurapika through thinned eyes.

"I need to tell her something."  
"…I think it's a little too late for the knight to save the princess. If you could even call someone so weak and pathetic a knight."  
Illumi said in taunting tone, and Kurapika's eyes flashed red.  
"She is different from common people like you. Moreover, she is _mine_. Don't even think of it."  
"…Since when did she become _yours_? People just don't _own_ other people."  
"You are so naïve. She is mine. I don't care if you believe it or approve it or not. That doesn't change the fact."  
"Are you aware of how much you are hurting her just for your own lust? She is not a thing!"  
"And you think that _you_ can save her? Please, don't make me laugh."  
Illumi's eyes and voice remained cold. Who did this arrogant boy think he was? People just don't come and snatch away your most prized possession.

Gon, still lost but finally remembering his own anger, shouted to Illumi.  
"Tell me, where is your house?"  
"…And? What do _you_ plan to do?"  
"Bring back Killua!"  
Gon looked at Illumi straight to his eye. Illumi had an exasperated look on his face.  
"Both of you are _so_ simple minded."  
He looked at the two who were glaring a hole through him. Then he thought about his arm that Gon broke in the course of throwing him to the other side of the room. The situation was really getting on his nerves.

"Where is your house?"  
Gon repeated, shouting so loudly that half the world could hear him. Illumi sighed. This was not getting him anywhere.  
"…Is that any attitude to ask something from another person?"  
"_You_ should be the last person to talk about manners."  
"Really? I am acting quite politely towards you, I think. Maybe you should learn your manners."  
Illumi couldn't stand it anymore. These kids were driving him crazy.  
"…Illumi Zaoldyeck, tell me exactly where I can find Nachiru."  
"Where is Killua's house?"

Illumi looked at the both of them for the last time, and shrugged. If telling the address to the both of them meant he could get rid of them, then why not? It was not as if they could reach it anyway.  
"…The Zaoldyeck mansion is on top of the Kukuru Mountain in the Padkia Republic. You want me to write it down?"  
The two was dumbfounded by Illumi's sudden change in his attitude. Illumi smiled with contempt. He grabbed a small piece of paper and wrote something on it, then gave it to Gon.  
"Here. It's pretty famous, so you can just ask other people for directions."

Then he left without another word. Only Hisoka noticed a grin on his face while he walked away.

Kurapika and Leorio and Killua were only released from the test site after Gon received _his_ briefing, which turned out to be an hour later. Kurapika would have followed Illumi if he could, but the Chairman threatened to revoke his license if he did. The Chairman actually knew everything, and he didn't want Kurapika to chase Illumi…yet.

"What exactly did the Chairman want from us? We could even have told Gon ourselves how to use the hunter card!"  
Kurapika was literally fuming while waiting for an airship to the Padkia Republic. Gon nodded furiously, apparently agreeing with his companion. Leorio, however, was looking at both of them with an apprehensive expression. He sighed inside, not knowing why he even came with them… He was supposed to be going back home right now, so he can study to become a doctor. But somehow, he was tempted to go with them. There was just so much unsolved mysteries on his part, and well…Gon and Kurapika were his friends, after all.

"You know why the Chairman wanted you to wait?"  
A voice that they all knew too well sounded from their backs. They all turned back, stupefied from the randomness of the person who spoke to them.  
"Hisoka? What are you doing here?"  
"So I see that you three decided to stick together for a while more."  
"…Why _did_ the chairman want us to wait?"  
"Because I told him so."  
Gon glared at him, still unable to forget how he was utterly defeated by the man with the most foolish costume on earth. Kurapika just raised his eyebrow.

"You are going to the Zaoldyeck mansion, I suppose?"  
They all nodded. Hisoka smiled, seemingly contented.  
"Are you aware of the risks involved?"  
"Of course…"  
"But are you ready for it?"  
"……!"  
Hisoka smiled again, probably amused with their reaction. They seemed lost, and he did not blame them for it. They had never been to that ridiculous mansion. Since he had known Illumi for quite a while, he had been there several times… The memories from that place still made him smile.

"Let me just tell you that it won't be as easy as you think."  
"……"  
"But you are still going, right?"  
They all nodded again. Hisoka widened his grin. _Why do unripe fruits look so delicious?_ He decided it was because they knew so little about the world, making them fearless…and foolish at times.  
"I advice you to start training in the airship."  
"…What?"  
Gon shouted out, surprised with the randomness of Hisoka's remark.  
"You lack the physical strength to get past the first obstacle."  
"……Is that all?"  
Kurapika said, unhappy with the unwanted disruption. Hisoka shook his head.

"Save Nachiru. Free her from the Zaoldyecks."  
Kurapika just looked at Hisoka, obviously at loss for words. If Hisoka's appearance was random, this statement was just totally incomprehensible.  
"…You want to ask me, 'why', right?"  
"……"  
"I've known Illumi for a few years, and I've seen Nachiru a few times before she ran away. She was in a pretty bad state, and I don't think Illumi is treating her the way he should."  
"…And you didn't stop him?"  
"I wasn't so sure until she ran away. That was when Illumi came up to me, really upset, and started confessing his 'darkest secrets' to me."  
Kurapika bit his lips. Gon watched him, slightly worried. Hisoka continued, either not noticing or ignoring their reaction.  
"Illumi _is_ my friend, and I know that he really loves his sister… But I think that he crossed a line that he shouldn't have. Well, anyway, good luck to you people."

Hisoka faced his back to them and walked away quietly. He still remembered the time when he first saw Nachiru through Illumi's window. She was talking with Killua in the garden, and her silver hair was fluttering in the wind…she was happy then. But once she was in front of Illumi, her cheerfulness disappeared completely. He had seen her through her best and worst, and almost had a brotherly affection towards her.

And he thought, personally, that she was probably better of with Kurapika than with Illumi, even though Illumi was supposedly his friend.

xoxox

"This is the main gate of the famous Zaoldyeck mansion!"  
The tour guide said cheerfully to the tourists on the bus. Most of them seemed to be amazed by the huge gate in front of them, but five of them remained unmoved. They were Gon, Leorio and Kurapika, and two other men who were on that bus.  
"So we're finally here!"

Gon said, determinedly looking at the gate. Kurapika nodded with the same determination showing in his face, but Leorio alone shot a doubting glance. Could they actually get through that?


	13. Challenge X Voices X Time Limit

"You are friends of Master Killua?"  
A few minutes later, the three found themselves facing the 'guard man'/cleaner of the gate, whose name was Zeburo. After the two other men tried to get through the gate, they were invited into his guard house. They started to tell him about the reason why they came to the Zaoldyeck mansion, and he seemed very surprised. Of course, he couldn't be blamed because none of the Zaoldyecks were visited by friends. Assassins were, after all, not supposed to have any in the first place.

"Yeah! Kurapika is also Nachiru's friend, but Leorio and I don't really know about her."  
Gon replied with his usual innocence. Zeburo looked at Kurapika with a more surprised look.  
"Also of Mistress Nachiru…?"  
"…Is there any problem with that?"  
Kurapika said, a little irritated by the way Zeburo seemed so surprised. But, the old guard man shook his head with a smile.  
"I am happy that she had found some friends."  
Kurapika was left speechless, and he felt a slight blush crawl across his face. To be frank, he was ashamed…ashamed that he had forgotten, even for one moment that Nachiru couldn't trust anyone in this household.

"Could you tell me what kind of life she had here?"  
Kurapika asked, and Zeburo's smile changed to an expression of quiet sorrow. The expression reminded the three of a father who had seen all of his daughter's hardships.  
"Mistress Nachiru had a hard life here… Her parents and siblings all didn't treat her the way they should have, with the exception of Master Killua. He was the only one who she gave any trust."  
"I see…"

Kurapika was, for a split second, tempted to ask if he knew about Illumi and Nachiru. He quickly decided against it, but it probably showed in his face… Zeburo was the one who brought up the topic.  
"…She also was loved by her eldest brother."  
Leorio and Gon looked at the other two with an expression of horrified surprise. Though Leorio witnessed the scene during the hunter exam and Gon had heard about it, they weren't exactly convinced about what happened. And no matter how much they asked, Kurapika never gave an explanation. Now, they finally understood the greater part of the story.  
"I know. She told me."  
Zeburo seemed surprised again.  
"Really? She would never tell the servants anything… We all knew, but she would never admit it. I see that she really trusted you."

Zeburo smiled again warmly, and told the three guests to go outside. They walked to the grand gate to the Zaoldyeck lot, where he told them to stop.  
"Let me tell you something important."  
"…?"  
"This door with keys… This is not the real gate to the grounds. The real gate does not have any keys."  
"It doesn't? Then…"  
Gon interrupted, but Zeburo raised his hand.  
"Please watch."  
He said, and put his hands on the wall. Then he started pushing on it with his full strength…which was when the three realized it was not a wall, but actually a huge door. No, not _a_ door…it was ten huge doors, each larger than the one before. Slowly, the first door began to open. Zeburo let go of it before it fully opened.

"This is the real gate into the Zaoldyeck grounds. It is called the _Gate of Trial_, the only way to get in without Mike attacking you."  
The three shuddered a little, remembering the bones of the two foolish pothunters. Leorio, being the simple-minded person he was, shouted out cheerfully.  
"Then all we have to do is open it!"  
"…One side of the doors is two tons."  
"WHAT!"  
"Meaning that to open the first door, you need to apply a force of four tons. Since I'm getting old, it's getting harder every day…I'll be fired when I wouldn't be able to open the door."  
"So this was why Hisoka told us to start training in the airship…"  
Gon said, a little put down with the situation. Zeburo continued explaining.  
"Master Killua opened the third door when he came back."  
"His strength is…twelve tons!"  
"Sixteen, you idiot!"  
Leorio corrected Gon, but seemed to be shocked himself. Kurapika was shocked too… If it was kilograms, that was a different story, but tons?

"Mistress Nachiru can open the fifth door, but she was a little tired when she came back, so she only opened the fourth door…"  
"…um…so that makes…"  
"Sixty-four tons."  
Gon tried to compute, but it was a little beyond him. Kurapika continued for him, his eyes opened so wide that it could have just fell out any moment.  
"Master Illumi can open the sixth door with ease, and he is working on the seventh now. Master Silva, of course, opens all ten at any time, and though Master Zeno is getting old, he can still open the ninth."  
The three just stood there, gaping. They had been told repeatedly that the Zaoldyecks were not a normal family, and well…that had been the truth.

"I assume that you cannot open these doors yet."  
The three nodded violently. They were _normal_ people who led a _relatively_ _normal_ life, and they obviously were never in a situation that required strength by the measure of _tons_. Zeburo was also expecting this. They were indeed extraordinary to become friends with the Zaoldyeck children, but they were not the same as the ridiculously 'talented' family who owned the land beyond the gate.  
"In that case, I suggest you to train in the servant's dormitory until you can."  
"In the servant's dorm?"  
"Yes. Well, you will understand when we get there."  
The three nodded with a look of confusion, but they followed obediently when Zeburo opened the door once again and told them to go in.

Once they arrived at the servants' dorm, they didn't exactly need an explanation as to _how_ they were supposed to train… Everything was simply part of the training. And so began their hard days of hardships…

xoxox

They had stayed there for about a week when Leorio started complaining about his cramps, and that they were being overworked. Though Kurapika and Gon didn't say anything, they were both pretty tired too. Zeburo seemed to read their minds, and decided to give them a day off with the condition that they keep the weights on them.

Leorio just went back to his room to sleep, while Gon happily went to play with the animals that lived in the forest. Kurapika was the only one who remained, quite undecided what to do. Then he remembered that he hadn't practiced his skills for the Kuruta sword fighting for quite a while, and tried to go up to get his swords. He didn't want to waste any time doing nothing…he had to see Nachiru as soon as possible. And for that, he needed to become stronger…  
"Hey there, don't push yourself too much."  
As Kurapika was about to go in his room, a familiar kind voice called to him from behind. Sure enough, it was Zeburo.  
"…Zeburo-san, you know perfectly well that I have no time to waste."  
"You also need to rest at times."  
"But…!"  
"If you work too hard, it can kill you. I have seen people who suffered that fate while they were here. If you die, then who will be able to save Mistress Nachiru?"

"…Save, huh?"  
Kurapika knew well enough that Zeburo meant it in a kind way, but it only reminded him of what Illumi said.  
_I think it's a little too late for the knight to save the princess.  
__And you think that_ you_ can save her?  
_Illumi's voice seemed to echo in his mind, and it just made him feel like a pathetic loser. Zeburo seemed a little worried at Kurapika's melancholy expression, but he continued in his warm voice.  
"Come, there is something I want you to hear."

_Hear?_ Kurapika wondered as he followed Zeburo into the woods. Wasn't it usually _see_? And either way, he was supposed to be training right now. Then Zeburo suddenly stopped in front of a white building. Was it a house?  
"Zeburo-san, what is…"  
"Shh. Not so loud."  
Kurapika continued, lowering his voice to a faint whisper.  
"What is this place? What exactly do you want me to hear?"  
"This is an annex of the Zaoldyecks."  
"But it's not even inside the garden…"  
"Mistress Nachiru ordered for it to be built here."  
"…!"  
Kurapika tried to ask for more explanations, when a faint melody reached his ears. Was it a piano? Yes it was… And whoever was playing it was obviously really good, since he was literally enraptured by it.

The piece was slow and quiet, the melody melancholy and heartbreaking. Kurapika closed his eyes, and for a while, the sound of the piano was the only thing seeping into his consciousness. It was beautiful… The evanescent sound suddenly reminded him of Nachiru. He opened his eyes with surprise, and looked at Zeburo. _Could it be…?  
_"Piano Sonata No. 14 in C# minor, Op. 27-2 by L.V. Beethoven. Commonly known as the 'Moonlight Sonata'. It has been one of Mistress Nachiru's favorite piece."  
"She plays the piano?"  
"She has been playing since she was small. She has always liked it, but she started to spend more time playing since she turned twelve."  
"…?"  
"Right after she was first raped by Master Illumi."  
Kurapika's eyes turned red for a moment, but they soon regained their original color. After the anger was gone, all that was left was deep sorrow. Zeburo saw that, and didn't say anything about _that topic_ anymore.

She continued playing, and Kurapika and Zeburo continued listening. It hurt Kurapika so much that she was just there, where she could hear him if he called out to her…but that he couldn't say anything, he couldn't let her know that he was listening to her play. He hadn't gotten past the _Gate of Trial_ yet, and he was not supposed to be there.

_Piano Sonata No. 8 in C major, Op. 13 ≪Pathetique≫ by L.V. Beethoven  
__Etude Op. 10-12 ≪Revolutionary≫ by Frederic Chopin  
__Nocturne in C# minor, Op. posth by Frederic Chopin  
__Clair de lune by Claude Debussy  
__Rhapsody in B minor, Op. 79, No. 1 by Johannes Brahms_

Zeburo named each piece as Nachiru played them, explaining a little about each. Kurapika nodded in answer, and listened to each piece in wonder. Some were quiet like the first, some were passionate, but all of them kept his him listening and touched somewhere deep inside his soul. It was as if he could _feel_ Nachiru's pain that she could only express through the piano. Fear, pain, regret, apprehension…all of these were _too_ familiar in her life. And to think that she was just _there_, while he was listening, unable to do anything! The notes poured into his soul, and just sadness piled up in his heart.

"I have to go now, since I still have duties to do."  
Zeburo said after a few hours. Kurapika noticed that the sun was already high above in the sky, meaning it was close to noon. He just nodded, and watched the man walk away. Then he closed his eyes again, and let the sound of the piano resonate in his mind and soul.

Kurapika was so intently listening to her play that he completely lost track of time. It seemed as if that music itself was an eternity…no beginning, no end. So naturally, he was taken back when the flow of music suddenly stopped. He noticed that the sky was already getting darker, with a faint glitter of the first star appearing at the corner. For a moment, he had been scared that she was going to stop playing. It had been what, more than six hours since she had begun playing, and it would only have been natural for her to stop. He was both happy and surprised when the sound of the piano reached his ear again. But this time, the sound quality was much simpler.

He was startled at the sudden change in music. But even if it was simpler, it was still as beautiful…it also sounded more clear, since there weren't so much notes coming and going.

_涙がこぼれ落ちないように  
__滲んだ空を見上げているよ  
__I'm looking up to the blurred sky so my tears won't fall down_

After a brief intro, a clear voice started to sing. He almost had the urge to look through the window to check if somebody else had entered the room. But at the same time, he was sure it was Nachiru, the voice of the girl who he longed to meet for so long…

_人はどうして想いの  
__ままに生きられないの  
__Why can't people live the way they want?_

He closed his eyes again, feeling it turn red. He wasn't exactly angry or sad, or feeling any emotions that usually turned his eyes red. It was more like a mix of some…unknown emotion, which he himself couldn't comprehend.

_泣けない弱い心も  
__泣かない強さもいらない  
__I don't want a weak heart that can't cry or the strength not to cry_

If her playing the piano sounded sad, her singing was distressing. It was quiet and clear, just like the way she played the piano, but it shredded his heart and soul. He felt like crying, but no tears came.

_願いをかける流れる  
__星を探してみるけど  
__I'm looking for a shooting star to 'wish upon'_

He had never heard the song before, but the lyrics seemed to fit too well to what he felt, and what he thought she felt too. He leaned back to the wall, and buried his face in his arms.

_夜明けがもう早すぎて  
__見つけられずにいるよ  
__But dawn comes too fast and I can't find any_

_君の事思い出す日  
__なんてないのは  
__The reason why I never recall memories about you_

_君の事忘れた  
__時がないから  
__Is because I've never forgotten about you_

_悲しい事に出会う度に  
__大丈夫だよと口グセになる  
_"_It'll be alright", I keep repeating whenever I meet another sorrow_

_あの日何かが止まって  
__しまったこんな私じゃ  
__But something stopped inside me on that day_

_いくら祈ってみたって  
__星ひとつさえ見えない  
__And no matter how much I pray, I can no longer see any stars_

_開いたいよねぇ会いたいよ  
__記憶の中の  
__I miss you, I miss you so much_

_笑顔だけ優しすぎて  
__どうしようもない  
__Your smile in my memories are just too kind…_

Her voice ceased, and the piano also came to a slow ending. Kurapika opened his eyes again, which were still red from the strange unknown emotion which was flooding him. It wasn't exactly pain, nor was it sorrow, but it just felt bad. It just wasn't right. _Why does _she_ have to sound so sad? What did _she_ ever do to deserve such a fate?_ Angry questions swirled in masses inside his head, but those were the very questions that he couldn't answer or do anything about.

Soon, he heard the door open, which meant that Nachiru decided she played enough. A foolish thought to actually walk up to her crossed his mind for a moment, but he convinced himself not to. No matter how much he wanted to see her, no matter how angry he felt for her, he was still not qualified to even enter the grounds.

He needed to hurry. He did not have time. The way she played the piano, the way she sung, somehow made him feel as if she was close to the edge. He also wanted to clarify _those_ feelings, the ones that he did not understand…intuition told him that he would understand them when he saw her again.

Kurapika got back to the servants' dorm an hour later, and was not so surprised to see everyone already back. Leorio and Gon both seemed refreshed, new determination shining through their eyes. He did not notice, though, that Zeburo was smiling warmly at him too. Zeburo was another person who thought that Nachiru deserved a better life than one tormented by her brother. He was secretly hoping that Kurapika really would save Nachiru, and was going to try his best to help the teenager.

* * *

_Right. First of all, I am SO sorry I did not reply to any of the review for my last chapter. I was in Japan, and I did not have access to internet for something like 12 days. I'm back home now, and this is the first thing I'm doing..._

_To clarify some things... Illumi loves Nachiru, but he is unaware of this... He thinks the only reason he needs her is for...uh...pleasure. Later, though, things will change. Yes, later._

_Okay, so. Additional disclaimers in this chapter...(is it okay if I put this down here? I don't really like putting stuff on top)...  
First, all the respective composers of the piano pieces. I'm sorry if you haven't heard any of them, but if you have the time, try listening to them. They are really good pieces... I also play the piano, and I really, really want to play them but I can't because i suck.  
...Nachiru is really good by the way, okay?_

_Next, the Japanese song I managed to sneak in. This is taken from _HANABI_ by_ 浜崎あゆみ _(Ayumi Hamasaki). She's a pretty famous singer in Japan, wonder if you've heard of her... The original song is a ... rock-ish song, but I am thinking it is playable in the piano. Not that _I_ can, though._

_Until the next chapter!_


	14. Masochism X A Caged Canary X Decision

Nachiru sat by her window, looking at the abandoned part of the garden in front of it. The last time she had seen the view before was on that moonlit night when she decided to run away. That part of the garden had been well taken cared of before, but it was now little better than the empty lots in Shooting Star Street. Kikyou probably had told the gardeners to abandon that particular portion of the garden; she had never liked Nachiru, and would have taken any opportunity to discard any traces of her existence.

She was actually locked up in her room ever since she arrived home, exception being when she went to the annex to play the piano. The only people who ever knocked on the door were her maid, who brought her the meals, and Illumi, whose reason for visit she'd rather not think about. She had hoped she could have some time with Killua, but it never would have been that simple. Killua was taken into the dungeons for 'punishment', in other words whipping from Milluki. The mere memory of Milluki sickened Nachiru. He was such a loser.

Nachiru opened the window to let fresh air come in. The night seemed so much colder than she had expected. She thought about the fate that awaited her. She was going back to 'Nachiru Zaoldyeck', a well-known assassin, the play toy of Illumi…a _thing_ without feelings. Or so she was supposed to be, but the last part was proving to be hard. To be devoid of emotion when you never knew any was one thing, to try to discard them when you have known too much was another.

Killua was another pressing concern. She had seen how hurt he (mentally, not physically…it wasn't as if Milluki could do much physical damage to Killua) was, but she again could do nothing. Nachiru was so happy that her younger brother was finally free from the name of Zaoldyeck, but it proved to be a short-lived dream. He was going to be turned into a lethal weapon, just as if nothing had happened. He was the only family she had, and she didn't want to lose him. Killua was the only one who let her be just 'Nachiru', and she felt she still hadn't paid her debt.

Then…_Kurapika_. The young Kuruta was where her thoughts ended up all the time. She wondered what he was doing, where he was, what he was thinking… She missed him so much, even if she hadn't even known him for long. It was only since the beginning of the hunter exams, wasn't it? She didn't understand why she couldn't forget about him. His face would flash back without warning, and it just left her confused.

There was a time she had been so depressed that she attempted to kill herself. It was about a week after she returned to the cursed jail, otherwise known as her home. She was going crazy with al the thoughts that filled her head, and she was scared of the consequences to come. She just had enough of life. She cut her wrist with a knife she kept for 'self-defense'. Ironic as it was, Illumi was the one who found her and treated her wound before she bled to death.

Countless scars on her arms gleamed in the moonlight. After two more tries, she had stopped trying to kill herself. She learnt that the Zaoldyecks were not letting her go _that_ easily. She turned to masochism instead. If she had a knife or any sharp edge, she used that; is she didn't then her teeth and nails. Pain was the only thing that kept her mind. But that too, was also coming to a limit. She felt her sanity slipping, like fine sand in her hands.

xoxox

It only took three more days for Kurapika, Leorio and Gon to succeed in opening the gate. Zeburo was pretty surprised, since four tons is not the amount of power you can acquire in a week or so. But it only showed how strong their determination was.

The three thanked Zeburo for his help, and started walking to the gate of the garden. Zeburo smiled and waved, happy that the Zaoldyeck children had gained real friends in the outside world…a privilege that was not granted inside the Zaoldyeck family. He was especially happy for Nachiru, since she was the one who suffered the most. She didn't even belong in the family, but she was forced to become the murder machine that was expected of a Zaoldyeck.  
"Oh, Kurapika."  
He called to the teenager's back as he was about to leave. Kurapika looked back, a little startled.  
"Please…please save Mistress Nachiru. Please show her the way out of the darkness she is in right now."  
Kurapika widened his eyes in surprise. Then, he nodded with a smile.

When the gate to the garden appeared to the three's eyes, they were surprised to see who was standing in front of the gate. It was a girl with orange hair and a dark complexion, who couldn't be much older than Gon himself. Her hair and skin reminded Kurapika of 'Miyo'.

"Do not come in."  
The girl spoke abruptly, and the three were taken back. She seemed so young, but she had already mastered the art of hiding her emotions under a cold mask.  
"This is the gate to the Zaoldyecks' garden. You are not allowed in here."  
"Who are you? I am Gon, Killua's friend. I came to see him!"  
Gon said stubbornly, and walked closer to the gate.  
"…I have warned you. If you still insist on entering…"  
Before the girl finished her sentence, Gon tried to step through. Without so much as raising a brow, she threw Gon out with her stick. She flicked it again, and made a line in front of the gate.  
"I guard this gate. If you cross this line, I will take you out by force."

Kurapika was trying hard of a way to get through this obstacle. Trying to break in was out of question, since the girl was obviously strong enough to knock them all out at once. Trying to persuade her, maybe? But how, exactly, could they do that?  
"Why won't you believe me that I am Killua's friend?"  
Gon was probably thinking along the same line. He went closer to the line, and had his childishly stubborn voice he used for persuading people. But the girl's answer was cold.  
"It doesn't matter."  
"What?"  
"Even if you _are_ a friend of Master Killua, if the butler hadn't approved your entrance. So I cannot let you in."  
Gon scowled, but he walked towards the line. He tried to walk past it again with another word, but the girl struck him again. This time, with a little more force.

That was when something caught Kurpika's eye. At the base of an old tree, there was Killua's skateboard.  
"Gon!"  
Kurapika shouted, and Gon paused in his umpteenth trial. He looked back, surprised and annoyed at the same time.  
"What?"  
"Look at that… It's Killua's skateboard, isn't it?"  
Gon widened his eyes in surprise. It was, indeed, the very skateboard Killua had kept with him for the whole exam. He certainly couldn't have dropped it…  
"Kurapika…"  
"Something must have happened here."  
The girl, though, broke her poker face for the first time. It was not because of the things they were saying, but simply because of the name 'Kurapika'.  
"Kurapika…_You_ are Kurapika?"  
He nodded, not knowing what to expect. Why did she even recognize his name?

The girl searched in her pockets, and got out something that was too familiar to Kurapika.  
"That necklace…"  
It was the necklace that 'Miyo' offered in exchange for a night's stay during the third test. 'Tear of Blood', as called by some. It was his turn to be surprised. _Why in the world did this girl have it?_ The girl, face contorted into a sad kind of frown, threw it to him.  
"What…"  
"Mistress Nachiru has given me orders that if any visitor by the name of Kurapika comes to this gate, I should give that necklace to him. She has also ordered me to give a message to the visitor called Kurapika."  
"Please tell me that message."  
Kurapika said as calmly as he could. But inside, he was confused as well as scared. Why was Nachiru giving the necklace to him, when she was its rightful owner?

"_Do not attempt to go any further. You would only waste your life in doing so. I congratulate you for getting through the 'Gate of Trial', but please… I have given the necklace to you since you are its only rightful owner now, as I need to let go of my Kuruta half. Please forget about me, since it will not get you anywhere._"

He just looked at the girl in disbelief. How can Nachiru do that? How can she say that? After all these things, she is telling him to _forget_ her? As if he could.  
"Is that all?"  
"…Yes."  
Kurapika was at loss for words, but the necklace rattling dangerously in his hands told all.  
"I need to get past that gate. Would you, by any chance, let me?"  
"No. I have been given strict orders not to."  
Kurapika couldn't help but glare at her, even if he knew well that it wasn't her fault. Gon stood up again, and faced the girl.  
"What is your name?"  
"…I am a servant…"  
"No, I mean, what is your name?"  
"…Kanariya."  
"Kanariya-san, why is Killua's skateboard there?"  
"……!"

Kanariya, as she called herself, looked away guiltily. It was obvious that she was hiding something.  
"Kanariya-san!"  
"…Master Killua gave it to me."  
"Stop lying! We know that he never would!"  
Leorio shouted angrily to the girl. Kurapika silenced him with a look of his eyes. Shouting at her would get them nowhere.  
"Kanariya-san, just let us pass."  
"As I have been saying, I am under strict orders to…"  
"Watch Nachiru and Killua die?"  
A dash of fear and guilt was added to Kanariya's expression. Kurapika actually felt guilty for doing this, but he knew it was much more effective than dumbly shouting at her.  
"You know that they don't want to stay here, don't you? You know that they will die…even if not physically…if they are kept here."  
Kurapika said in the coldest voice he could make under such conditions. He felt so bad saying this, seeing how _he_ hadn't been able to do anything. Kanariya closed her eyes, most probably to fight back tears. _Just one more push…  
_"If you don't hurry, it's going to be too late."

_There_. He thought to himself as the girl slumped down to the ground. Her shoulders were shaking, but no tears fell from her eye.  
"Kanariya-san!"  
Gon's voice rang out like a bell. At any other time, it would have lightened such a serious atmosphere, but even that seemed to sound criticizing to Kanariya. She finally looked up with watering eyes.  
"…I know. I know! But what can I do? I'm just a servant. I can't go against _them_…"  
"Just…help us. Let us pass."  
"……I can't…"  
"You can."  
One more determined look from Gon and Kurapika finally moved the girl's heart. A tear fell from her eye, and she said in a trembling voice.  
"…Please…Please save them for me…"  
Gon smiled happily, and Kurapika nodded. Leorio looked a little apprehensively, but followed Gon and Kurapika when they crossed the line.  
"Just wait, Kanariya-san! We will get them out for sure!"  
Gon said, but he was disturbed by Kanariya suddenly being hit by a blow from seemingly nowhere.

"Kanariya-san!"  
"She's still alive. Just knocked out."  
Leorio said quickly after checking her pulse. As an aspiring doctor, he should know. Gon let out a sigh of relief, and glared at the direction where the blow came from.  
"Who are you?"  
He said in an unusually threatening tone. Leorio and Kurapika, who followed the youngest boy's gaze a moment later, were surprised to see two figures near the trees…or in the forest, to be more exact. One was a woman, judging from her clothes. She wore a large hat that hid most...but not all of what apparently _had_ _been_ her face, which was now replaced by some kind of machine. The other figure was a child, though the three weren't so sure if it was a girl or boy. He or she wore a pink kimono and had shoulder-length hair, but they knew those didn't necessarily makethe childa girl.

After all, Leorio had supposed Kurapika to be girl…and a really pretty one at that (if exceptionally flat-chested). And he was wrong. He would not be surprised if that kid was a boy.

"Oh, this is unbelievable! She is just a mere servant, and yet she talks behind our backs!"  
The woman exclaimed in a high-pitched, raspy voice. Her actions showed how drastically disappointed and annoyed she was. The kid, though, just looked at the three indifferently. But Kurapika swore that he saw a flash of hatred in the kid's eyes.  
"_Who are you?_"  
Gon repeated his question, which seemed to bring the woman back to her senses.  
"Oh, I am sorry for my servants' bad manners. I am Kikyou, mother of Killua. I have a message from him."

Kikyou seemed to be 'scanning' something in that machine of hers, then an all-too-familiar voice sounded from her direction."  
"_Gon, Kurapika, Leorio._"  
The three looked at each other with surprise. The voice was Killua's without a doubt. But…  
"_Thanks for coming here. I'm really happy you did…but I can't see you right now. I am so sorry._"  
The voice stopped abruptly, and Kikyou spoke up.  
"As you can see, Killua is pretty busy at the moment. Please go home now, since we cannot do anything for you."

"Liar!"  
Gon cried out, eyes filled with disbelief and…fear? Kurapika thought detachedly. Gon openly showed his anger or worry, but never once did he show fear. Was he that scared to not see Killua again? Kurapika smiled inwardly, feeling that they were in the same boat. He was scared of not seeing Nachiru again.  
"That isn't Killua! I'm sure it isn't."  
"…Gon is right. Killua wouldn't say that. And…I was wondering if...well...Nachiru is busy too."  
Kikyou's electric 'eyes' flashed dangerously at the mention of Nachiru's name. Did she really hate Nachiru that much? Was it because she was the daughter of her husband and his mistress? Kurapika tried hard not to let his thoughts appear on his face.  
"Nachiru cannot see anyone right now. She is under confinement for her bad behavior."

As Kurapika was about to open his mouth, the machine seemed to receive some information. Kikyou, after reading whatever she received, exclaimed in dismay.  
"Oh, what a day! Zeno…why is he always so lenient! And no…is he going to Nachiru's room?"  
The last half of the sentence was hysterically screamed out. She then turned to the three, confused with her sudden change.  
"I am sorry, but I no longer have the leisure to stand here and waste my time."  
She said shortly, hysteria still present in her voice, and half-dragged the child back to their house.

"…Gon-san, Kurapika-san, Leorio-san."  
A calm voice called out to them from the back. Kanariya sat up slowly, while she touched the bruise Kikyou made on her face. She poked it a little, then scowled. It probably hurt a lot, judging from how far her body flew when she was hit.  
"Kanariya-san!"  
"Are you alright?"  
Kanariya nodded with a new resolution inside her eyes.  
"I will take you to the chief butler. It may not work, but it is worth trying."  
Gon and Kurapika…and even Leorio smiled at this. They were getting closer to their target.


	15. Father X Her Reason X His Reason

Killua followed Zeno silently after he was released from Milluki. Though Zeno did not say a word, Killua was positive they were going to Nachiru's room. How could he _not_ tell? It was the same cursed path he took countless times, just maybe to talk with her or to show her his latest achievement…only to find Illumi raping Nachiru. And he returned to his room by that same path, crying and cursing himself for not being able to do anything. 

"Nachiru."  
Zeno opened the door without even a knock. Killua flinched a little, afraid that he might see Illumi again. But his fear proved only to be an assumption…much to his relief. But whether what he saw there was worse or better, he could not really tell.  
"Grandfather…and Killua!"  
Nachiru's eyes shone for the first time since she was brought back to her house. She was so happy that she saw Killua…he was the only one who she wanted to talk to in the whole place.  
"Nachiru……?"  
In contrast to Nachiru's happiness, Killua was at loss for words. He was so shocked to see Nachiru so…… Was sickly the right word? Her face was so pale, as if she wasn't already pale enough in her normal state. It was past the point of being white…more like a light shade of blue. She seemed to be thinner, too. Apparently, she hadn't been eating properly. _And_… He shifted his gaze to her left arm, which was covered with countless scars. They weren't old…in fact, some were still bleeding a little. He didn't understand why she had all these wounds.

"What happened, Nachiru? Why…"  
Before Killua could finish his sentence, Nachiru ran to him and hugged him tightly. He was a little surprised to feel her arm shaking slightly.  
"I'm so glad you are safe."  
Nachiru just said that short sentence before she let go of Killua. She looked at her younger brother… He had marks from whipping, but that seemed to be it. Nothing much.  
"I'm fine, but what happened to you? Why…who did this?"  
Killua asked again, bewildered by the state of his sister. She just looked away with shame in her eyes, not able to look straight at the innocently concerned face in front of her. _How can I tell him that _I_ did this to myself?_

"Nachiru… Answer me."  
"…No one did this, Killua."  
"Lie."  
Killua spat out with anger. _Why was she always like this? Why doesn't she ever tell me anything bad?_ He also felt sad that she chose not to trust him once again, the first time being when she ran away.  
"……I'm sorry."  
"I don't want to hear apologies!"  
He was actually surprised to feel tears forming behind his eyes. He couldn't believe he was crying. Nachiru also seemed to be surprised. And sad, at the same time.

"Was it Illumi? Did he do this to you?"  
Nachiru shook her head to Killua's desperate question.  
"…It wasn't Illumi. I did this to myself."  
"……What?"  
"I'm sorry."  
Killua blinked in disbelief. He couldn't imagine Nachiru hurting herself. Yes, she has gone through so much, but she _never_ was suicidal. Never.  
"I don't want to go on living anymore, Killua. You should know… After I've known the outside world, there is no way I can go back to being part of the Zaoldyecks."  
"But…"  
_What about me?_ Killua tried to continue, but only dry breath came out. _Are you leaving me here again?  
_"I'm sorry. I tried, but I couldn't. Right now, I'm neither dead nor alive."

Nachiru felt a part of her brain feel a detached kind of hurt. She didn't know what else she could say to Killua. He seemed so hurt that she chose death instead of him. Well, not literally since death wasn't an option for her. Not as long as Illumi was alive anyway. His goal in life was to torture her…to possess her in every way possible…and dispose of her at the right time and place by his own hands. She was not even given the right to choose her own fate.

It wasn't that she didn't care for Killua anymore. No, leaving him with the Zaoldyecks was the last thing she wanted to do. But at the same time, she couldn't deny the fact that it was _Kurapika_, not Killua, who was really pushing her to the edge. All the memories with him, his smile, his voice, his actions…anything that had to do with him just made her miserable. She felt dirty. If he was the sun, she was like a dark alley in the wrong side of the town filled with all the wrong people and things.

"Well, are you through with your reunion?"  
A stern voice pulled the both of them back to reality. Zeno was looking at them with an incomprehensible expression.  
"Grandfather…do you need anything from me?"  
"Nachiru, Killua. Silva wanted to have a word with the both of you."  
Nachiru and Killua both were dumbfounded. That was just the most random thing that anyone said to them. Silva, their father who chose to ignore Illumi's behavior and to form Killua into a killing machine. What did he want _now_?  
"He is waiting in his room. I just came to tell you to go there."  
The two nodded, and went out of the room.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"  
That was the first word from Killua to Nachiru when they got out. Nachiru looked away, full of guilt. Why didn't she tell him? That was one question that she still didn't have an answer to.  
"…I don't know."  
"Didn't you trust me?"  
"I did."  
"Then why….!"  
Killua said it with such anger that Nachiru was forced to look at him. She felt a twinge in her heart when she saw tears growing in his eyes again. His clenched fist at his side was shaking.

"…You would have wanted me to take you."  
Killua's gaze wavered for a moment.  
"You didn't want to? You didn't care if I was left here?"  
"That's not what I meant. I mean… If I took you, then we both would have died."  
"Died?"  
"I didn't...and still don't have the strength to take care of two people. I only _just_ managed to get by until now. I couldn't have if you were there."  
Killua just looked away.

Both did not say another word until they reached the door to Silva's room. Just when Killua was about to knock, a deep voice came from inside.  
"Come in."  
The two of them looked at each other with a kind of determination. Whatever trouble (since they thought only trouble could await them on the other side of these doors) they were in, they were in it together. Nachiru opened the door and went in first, and Killua followed soon after.

"Nachiru, Killua. Welcome home, should I say?"  
The two shifted uncomfortably. They never felt like themselves whenever Silva was around, especially when they faced him in his room. Killua poked Nachiru, telling her to answer first.  
"…Long time no see, father."  
"Well, it has been…two years?"  
"Yes."  
Silva nodded. He was still the strict father they remembered, but there was something different that shone in his eye. He even had a sad kind of smile on his face.  
"Was the world outside better than here?"  
Nachiru nodded hesitantly.  
"I am sorry…that I never did anything."  
Nachiru raised her eyebrow in skeptic surprise. He ignored her 'problem' until now, and this is the first thing he says after a long absence? Silva, when he saw the expression on her face, turned to Killua.

"I heard that you also took the hunter exams. How was it?"  
"The test itself was stupid, but the people there were interesting."  
"Really? Tell me more about it."  
Killua looked up for the first time since they entered the room. He couldn't believe Silva was actually interested in his life… His father ignore those things before he ran away. He started to talk, hesitantly at first but more enthusiastically later on. Nachiru still didn't overcome her suspicion, but she relaxed a little to see her little brother happier than usual. He, at least, found a place where he belonged.

xoxox

"That building over there is the servants' quarters."  
Kanariya said timidly when they caught sight of a huge building in a distance.  
"That is the _servant's_ quarters? It's huge enough to pass for the Zaoldyeck mansion!"  
Leorio, being quite unfamiliar with this kind of…grand architecture, was obviously flustered at the fact. He could not imagine how the _real_ Zaoldyeck mansion would ever look like.

And that was when they all heard a ruffling sound nearby. They all turned to the direction of the noise, and they were literally frozen for a split second.  
"It's you guys again?"  
An exasperated voice from the face they knew too well brought them back to their senses.  
"Illumi…!"  
"I actually didn't think that you'd make it, you know? Well, let me congratulate you."  
Gon shouted out the name of the man, but he answered with an unchanging voice and expression. Illumi brushed the infuriated little boy off casually, and turned to Kurapika. It was not Gon, but this blonde boy he had to settle things with. Though it was dark already, there was enough light to see Kurapika's eyes turned red.

"Illumi…"  
Kurapika growled, still unable to forget everything that happened in the last test and after that. He reached to his swords, and drew them out of their sheaths.  
"You came here despite my and Hisoka's warning, Kuruta boy?"  
Kurapika answered with silence. Illumi's eyes thinned, and he felt an immeasurable hatred come out of them. Though it was part of compulsory training to become an assassin to hide emotions, Illumi knew that he could never do that with Kurapika. He hated the Kuruta too much.

"Don't think you have the right to take Nachiru away from me."  
He said in an angry tone, only to be answered with as much bitterness.  
"Nachiru doesn't want to stay here. You know this."  
"…Let me ask _one_ question just to make sure. Why did you come here?"  
Kurapika just glared at Illumi. His look seemed to say, _it's not that hard to figure out, is it?_ Illumi smirked.  
"That's your answer, then."  
"…Where is Nachiru?"  
"I'll tell you when I kill you."  
Then he disappeared.

Kurapika, bewildered at the sudden turn in events, looked around. _Disappeared_. One moment Illumi was there, and then the next he wasn't. This reminded Gon of the basketball game Killua played with Netero-san, and Kurapika of the morning in the ship for the third test.  
"Illumi Zaoldyeck, the _assassin_."  
Kurapika spat out the words wrathfully. Was this one of the things Hisoka tried to warn them about? As much as he hated Illumi, he could not deny the fact that Illumi still hopelessly overpowered him.

The attack was sudden and accurate. _Zaoldyecks aren't just famous for their name…_ Kurapika thought as he _just_ evaded Illumi's attack.  
"I didn't expect you to be so fast."  
Illumi said as he started to blend into the darkness again. Right before he hid himself completely, Kurapika said a word.  
"…Why?"  
"What exactly do you mean, why?"  
Illumi raised an eyebrow as he came back into view. Not many people could evade his attack, and the fact _this_ particular boy did hurt his pride. _Badly_.  
"Why do you want Nachiru so much? Is your personal lust something worth killing someone for?"  
"…What do _you_ know!"  
Illumi shouted, forgetting himself for a moment. Did the Kuruta _really_ believe that the only reason why he wanted Nachiru was lust? _Did he, really?_

Kurapika was taken aback by the sudden outburst. As far as he knew, Illumi wasn't the type to openly express his anger. Was what Kurapika said something offending enough to tear the cold mask off?  
"All I know is that you've been tormenting Nachiru…and Killua…for practically their whole lives. And that you forced them to go back home, even though you knew perfectly well they never wanted to."  
"…Do you think that _that_ is all behind the story?"  
"That is all I can see."  
"…You know, this is something I have to thank you for, but…"  
"……?"  
"I love her."

"Shame on you… I can't believe you even dare say that after all you did."  
Illumi glared at Kurapika.  
"At first, when she was always here, I didn't care if she loved me or not. No… I didn't want her to, since it added more thrill, if you know what I mean."  
Illumi glanced at Kurapika again, just shortly enough to see his fist clenched until it was white.  
"But now…after she met you, I finally realized that there is a possibility I might lose her. That was when I found out how much she really meant to me."  
Kurapika just stared at him with disbelief.  
"I decided that I need to eliminate all things that pose a threat. Which includes you…and well… your little friend over there."

"You are the _last_ person who should say that."  
Kurapika spat out, his red eyes shining dangerously. Honestly, he had been surprised at Illumi's words…he never expected Illumi to actually _love _Nachiru… But it wasn't what he would call a pleasant surprise. Illumi's opinion was too self-centered. Illumi smiled…or contorted his lips in the form of a smile, and disappeared into the dark again. Kurapika's words were enough to resume the 'killing' that had been paused.

* * *

_Here's my newest chapter. I don't know why, but I'm not very happy this chapter._

_Well, thanks always to my reviewers: keia mizuki (you know I love you, dontcha? Lol.), Sea-Salt Ice Cream, arham, Fey Croix, knrsh56114 and Demonwolf98. _

_And thanks too to all you guys who take the time to read this chapter._


	16. Truth X Apologies X Broken World

"And you know, Gon…"  
Killua's bright voice lit up the dark dungeon where Nachiru, Killua and Silva were in. Silva listened curiously to his son's stories about the hunter exams and Gon, but Nachiru looked somewhat distant. And she had a reason to, since she was thinking about Kurapika.

His brother's stories about the exams couldn't help but bring back Kurapika to her mind. The kind smile he showed his friends, the warm atmosphere he carried around with him… How he lent a helping hand when Nachiru went through hard times, how just his mere presence let her forget Illumi. She was so happy…and fortunate that she met Kurapika during the short time she was outside. While she was with him, she couldn't imagine how she could continue living without him… And though she _was_ still living after she was brought back, she knew she could never forget about him.

Kurapika, Kurapika…_Kurapika_! She blinked a few times, trying to fight back her tears.

"That Gon seems to be very interesting."  
Silva's deep laughter brought Nachiru back from her thoughts.  
"Yeah! I never get bored when I'm with him."  
"…Do you want to see him?"  
Killua's face suddenly fell. Nachiru, too, looked at Silva with apprehension. Where was he trying to get to?  
"I…do. But I don't have the right to."  
"The right? What do you mean?"  
Killua looked even sadder as he explained what Illumi said to him in the last test. Silva nodded, thought a little, and faced Nachiru.

"Nachiru, how about you? Did you meet anyone interesting in the hunter exams?"  
Nachiru was taken off guard by the sudden attention. Everyone in the exams were interesting in one way or another, but if he meant someone special, she had one person in mind. But should she tell Silva? Was she completely sure nothing bad will happen to Kurapika if she did? Assassins were, after all, not supposed to have friends. Or anything else.

"……How do I know if I can trust you, father?"  
Both Silva and Killua looked at her with surprise. Killua, realizing what she meant, looked at Silva with doubt. Unlike his sister, he had already told him about Gon. Would Silva…?  
"You are thinking that I will kill that person."  
Nachiru nodded. She never really trusted her father. Silva nodded too, as he also understood that.  
"I know whatever I say will never be enough for you to trust me. But, let me just say I won't kill your friends."  
"Unless someone pays you to."  
Silva blinked a few times, but shook his head after a few seconds of silence.  
"I wouldn't. And how am I supposed to know who _not_ to kill if you don't tell me?"

Nachiru stared at her father for a while, trying to figure out what his true intention was. Was he trying to kill Gon and Kurapika as she first thought, or did he really just want to know about their experiences in the exams? She looked down and hesitantly said a name.  
"…Kurapika."  
She looked up, confidently this time, and continued.  
"He is a friend of Gon. He's seventeen, and the only survivor of the Kuruta tribe."  
Silva showed interest at the mention of Kuruta, but he let his daughter continue talking about Kurapika. He sensed from her voice and eyes that Kurapika was someone special to her… Someone much more than a friend.

"…And do you want to see him again?"  
Silva asked the same question he asked Killua after Nachiru finished talking. Nachiru thought a little, and shook her head. Of course, she did want to see Kurapika more than anything. But doing so meant risking Illumi killing Kurapika, and she thought that was worse than never seeing him again.  
"You don't?"  
"If I do, Illumi will kill him. And…"  
"And?"  
"We were only strangers until the exams. He surely would have forgotten about me by now…"  
Nachiru said, remembering the line he said to her after Illumi blackmailed her.  
_I was just a plain stranger until a few days ago…  
_Yes, a stranger. It was just stupid to hope for anything more.

"If I say I'll do something about Illumi… You still wouldn't want to?"  
"I hardly believe you can stop him. And I'm repeating this again, but…we were just strangers, father. Like Kurapika would even care…"  
Silva cocked his brow with a knowing grin. His expression annoyed Nachiru a lot, but she kept her mouth shut since Killua spoke up.  
"Nachiru… I am sure Kurapika didn't forget about you. You should know that too."  
Nachiru was forced to look at her little brother. His usually cool eyes were filled with concern. She knew well what Killua was trying to say, but…  
"Believing people isn't easy."  
"But…"  
"I tried. I did, before. Now… I am not so sure."  
Killua looked away, obviously at a loss for words.

"I think your friends have not forgotten about you at all."  
The two children looked at their father. The younger sibling was surprised, but the older just had no expression.  
"Gon, Kurapika and Leorio are here, within the Zaoldyeck lands. They are demanding to meet with you two."  
"……Your…point is?"  
Nachiru said in a small voice, trying not to think or hope. _Kurapika_… His face was plastered onto her mind, and it kept her from thinking logically.  
"Both of you were wrong. Killua, Gon seems to think you are a qualified friend. Nachiru, Kurapika hasn't forgotten about you."  
"……"  
Killua and Nachiru looked at each other.  
"I'm asking you again. Do you want to see your friends again?"  
Killua broke into a smile and nodded. Nachiru, though, still seemed hesitant.  
"But…Illumi……"  
"I will do something about him. That is the least I can do as a father."  
At that, Nachiru too nodded.

"Let's go get our stuff then!"  
Killua jumped out of his seat and ran to the door. Nachiru followed with a hint of a smile on her lips… It was the first time since she came back that she felt so…light. She knew too well how unusually optimistic she was being, but at the moment, all her problems seemed to have gone away.  
"Nachiru…"  
Silva called her name, and she looked back.. Killua was all the way down the corridor already.  
"I am sorry. That I brought you in this family. That I never helped you. I…"  
Nachiru looked at her father with surprise. Before, she never would have believed his words. Now, though, she thought she could. He seemed more…sincere. She formed a smile…a genuine smile…and shook her head.  
"It's okay, father. Thank you and…good bye."  
She nodded slightly before she followed Killua down the corridor. Silva watched her go with a melancholic air. He thought that this might be the last time he ever saw her, and that made him a little sad. He felt so much guilt when she ran, knowing it was his fault for never giving the family much of his time.

At least, though, she changed in the outside world. She had more life within her eyes, which were empty during her childhood. She learned so many things he'd never teach her, and she became more like people her age. He knew too well that Nachiru didn't belong in the Zaoldyecks, but what choice did he have when her mother died? He felt a little at ease when he knew she found a place where she belonged.

He closed his eyes, letting Nachiru's mother creep behind his eyelids. Another thing he felt guilty for. She was a beautiful woman, much like Nachiru but with blonde hair… And a strong one. Her inside strength…the determination, the will… Everything about her shone. That was the reason why he loved her so much. While he was night, a creature of darkness, she was day…the light. Nachiru had found _her_ light.

He picked up his cell phone, and dialed one of the numerous numbers saved in it. _Illumi_… He knew how twisted his eldest son had become. But then, it was more or less his fault… His fault for never installing values as a normal person to any of his children. If he could, he would make Illumi happy… But it was too late. Nachiru had been his light, Silva knew, but Illumi couldn't stand the brightness. Illumi was already assimilated in his own shadow, threatening to engulf Nachiru's light in it.

xoxox

Something like an eternity passed. Kurapika, though he couldn't see Illumi, was still alive and standing. If only that. He somehow managed to avoid attacks on his critical parts, but he received many blows everywhere else. He was now barely standing, blood and mud was caked on his face, and _at least_ his right leg and two of his ribs were broken. Gon, Leorio and Kanariya were glued to the spot… They somehow sensed that this was a personal matter between the two, and something they shouldn't interfere in. Of course, it wasn't as if they could have even if they wanted to.

Suddenly, a cellphone rang and broke the tension. Kurapika looked at Gon, Leorio and Kanariya, but they shook their head. Which only left one possibility. _Illumi_.

Soon enough, they heard a voice swear, and Illumi was in front of them with his cellphone in hand.  
"Father? Another commission? ………What?...No, I'd rather die. …What is _wrong_ with you? Why are you… Father? You can't be serious. …But I… …No… I don't care."  
His voice, starting with annoyance, soon became serious and cold. The three watched in confusion as Illumi smashed the cell phone in his hand, and threw the remains to the nearby bush.

Then Illumi suddenlyturned and threw a death glare at Kurapika.  
"My father told me to leave you alone."  
Illumi said, each syllable full of hate and menace. Kurapika could feel some kind of invisible force engulfing him, but he couldn't do anything about him. If it was sometime later, he would have recognized the feeling to be _nen_.  
"But I don't care. I hate you, and I will kill you."  
The force tightened its grip on Kurapika, and he felt himself choking. His bones were threatening to break, but his pride wouldn't let him show the pain. Illumi scowled, and proceeded to tightening the force even more.  
"And I won't let you go easily. I'll kill you little by little, inflicting as much pain as possible."

When Illumi took a step towards Kurapika, a shadow appeared and blocked his way. The five people who were there looked at the shadow with disbelief. Only two seemed to recognize what…or rather, who it was.  
"Master Silva…"  
"Father."  
The middle-aged man looked at Kurapika, scanned Gon and Leorio, then turned and glared at Illumi. Silva sensed the danger when Illumi hung up the phone, and decided to transport himself to talk with Illumi.

"Illumi. I told you to leave them alone."  
"Father, out."  
Illumi replied with his placid expression, which was still threatening enough to most people. It pained Silva to know he was the reason why Illumi turned out like this.  
"Let them go. Don't you care for you younger siblings at all?"  
Sternness crept into Silva's words, but Illumi decided to brush it off.  
"Gon can get Killua, if that's what you want. I don't care. But I am killing that Kuruta over there, and _that_ is final."  
"Illumi, I will kill you if I have to. Leave them _alone_."  
"Father, _out_. Threaten me all you want, but Nachiru is not leaving this house."

Silva sighed. He compressed his _nen_ in his hands and threw it to his stubborn son. Illumi built a barrier, but his father overpowered him. The next minute, he sensed the same _nen_ he put on Kurapika surround himself. His own control over the _nen_ on Kurapika started to falter, and before long, it disappeared completely.

"…I hate you, father."  
Illumi somehow managed to croak through the pressure. Everyone there looked at him with surprise. All _he_ could see, though, was Silva and the Kuruta boy. The two people he hated with a fiery passion he himself didn't know he possessed.  
"Illumi…"  
"I was just wondering… did you ever _care_ about me?"  
Silva almost turned away when he met his son's ice-cold glare.  
"I was the oldest. I was responsible for everything. And yet… I got nothing in return."  
"Illumi, I…"  
"Now you take Nachiru away from me?"  
Desperation was threatening to overrun rage, but Illumi tried to fight against it. It was so difficult, though, when his whole world was threatening to come toppling on him.

His empty, monochromic world.

"…Illumi, though you may not know this, I love my family. I love all of my children."  
Silva's quiet voice brought everyone back to their senses. Kurapika, Gon, Leorio and Kanariya were all glued to where they were standing; Illumi just let out a snarl of incredulity.  
"_Love_. I never thought _that_ word would ever come out of your mouth."  
"Illumi, listen to me. I know I haven't been the ideal father, or this place an ideal home. But I cared, and even if I never showed it, I hoped for the best for all of you."  
"Lies."  
"What you are doing right now is throwing Nachiru's life down the drain. Throwing _your_ life down the drain. Neither of you deserve this."  
"I don't care…"

"You cannot go on like this. Illumi, you already half-destroyed Nachiru. This way, you will eventually destroy yourself completely."  
Even Illumi fell silent at Silva's sudden harsh tone. What his father said was the truth, and he knew it very well… But he was too empty and lonely to admit it. He didn't care if he broke, or……_did he really not care if Nachiru broke?  
_"All you wanted was love. Something I should have given…and didn't. And you learnt it in the worst way anyone could."  
A wall Illumi built around his conscience fell, and he felt himself wince. As hard as he tried, he couldn't ignore what Silva was saying.  
"You loved Nachiru, didn't you? But you didn't know what to do with something you've never known or felt. And it came out in the worst way possible. Blame it on me, but don't put it out on Nachiru. She has her own right to become happy."

"Illumi, if you love Nachiru _at all_, let her go already. You will eventually _kill_ her if you go on."

Then the world really shattered.

Kurapika watched Illumi slump to the ground not knowing to be sad or happy. The way it looked, it seemed Illumi finally realized what he had done, but it also seemed that meant he would lose what he thought was everything. Kurapika knew how much hurt and sorrow Illumi had inflicted on Nachiru, but that didn't stop him from feeling pity to look at Illumi's eyes so empty.

Listening to the conversation between Silva and Illumi made Kurapika feel differently towards the whole thing. So it wasn't actually Illumi's fault from the start? If Illumi was also a victim, then who did he have to blame? _No_. That whole idea was wrong. Kurapika wasn't supposed to blame anyone...seeing as to how he himself was to blame too… but to help Nachiru get over everything.

He heard a faint sobbing, and knew instantly it was Gon. Gon always was so kind… He probably felt the sadness of everyone, and he was the only person brave enough to cry. A droplet then landed on the grass in front of Kurapika. Surprised, he looked up… and saw that the heavens had decided to share the pain with them.

They all stood there, feeling the rain run down themselves and their soaked clothes stick to their skin. Everything was so cold and still. And they all hoped that the rain would wash all their pain with them…and when it was gone, that everyone would be able to smile.

Only when Silva shifted what seemed to be an eternity later did they notice they were still in the world. The silver-haired man motioned all of them to head to their initial destination…the servant's quarters… and Gon, Leorio, Kanariya and Kurapika started walking hesitantly.

Kurapika looked back once. Illumi was still where he fell, sitting, raindrops flowing down his cheeks. Their gazes met for a moment, and Kurapika was surprised to see the hatred gone from Illumi's gaze. Kurapika stopped in his tracks, and nodded to Illumi. He didn't know why he did that, or what significance there was to the action, but he thought it was better than any word. He turned back after that, and ran to catch up with the others, not knowing how a defeated kind of smile crept into Illumi's blank face.

* * *

_Well, so finally I updated after... a very long time. I'm really sorry that I couldn't earlier. The next one might take another while too... Please be patient with me for a while._

_You know, I never thought Illumi would turn out like this in my fic. If you think it's too ooc, just don't think of _the_ Illumi Zaoldyeck. Please pretend it was someone else with the same name._


	17. Denial X Realization X My Reason

"It's raining…"  
Killua whispered out the window of the servants' quarters, and Nachiru nodded silently. They were told to wait there, since Gon, Kurapika and Leorio were supposedly heading there too, but there was still no sign of them.  
"Do you like the rain, Killua?"  
The younger sibling looked at Nachiru, only to realize how her eyes were looking somewhere distant. Now that the initial excitement wore off, both of them were drowning in a sea of doubt.

_Were _they actually worthy of this?

"Nah. Everything looks so boring when it's raining."  
Nachiru smiled half-heartedly at her brother's remark. Everyone said that, but she thought differently.  
"It's not all that boring, you know? Try looking at things in another light."  
"Like?"  
"You can't live without rain. And only when it rains can you see a rainbow."  
"Well, I guess…"  
They both couldn't think of anything else to say, so they sat in silence again. The only reason why they came up with that conversation was because they were anxious, anyways.

It wasn't that they had waited for long. It was barely ten minutes since they arrived to that building with what few things they decided to bring. It was just that at moments like this, a minute felt like an hour and negative thoughts gave double the doubt to people's minds.

Just as they were about to drown again in that sea of depression, Killua caught a few shadows heading towards the quarters. He let out a sharp cry and tugged at his sister who was staring blankly into space.  
"Nachiru! Isn't that…?"  
It took a while for Nachiru to find what Killua was looking at, since she wasn't that focused in the first place. But when she did, she dropped all her thoughts and ran to the door, shortly followed by her younger brother.

It was _them_. It was really _Kurapika_ and Gon and Leorio. They really came all the way to the remote mountain, passed through all the obstacles in the Zaoldyeck lands, and were there, walking, close enough for Nachiru and Killua to see. When they reached the door, they ran straight out without a heed for the rain pouring on them.

Killua kept running as fast as he could, but Nachiru's pace dropped dramatically as she got a better view of the whole group. Oh, Kurapika, Gon and Leorio were there alright. But there was another shadow…which she immediately recognized to be her father… and the three other shadows were heavily injured.

She stopped completely halfway, and diverted her eyes from the person who she wanted to see so badly. Kurapika was hurt, _badly_, most probably because of her. She never felt so much guilt in her life. Why, _why_ did he have to go through this? Kurapika wasn't even the one at fault. Seeing him in that state because of her was worse than never seeing him again.

But even without the sight, her well-trained ears and nose couldn't block out the whole picture. The ragged breath and limping footsteps. The faint smell of blood and sweat. She never regretted being an assassin so much.

"….n!"  
"Ki……..you………ble…"  
"……t…."  
Faint voices reached her ears too, but it wasn't as loud enough as those heavy footsteps. Hysteria and depression threatened to overwhelm her again.

Kurapika was _there_, close enough to hear him, talk to him, see him, touch him…

And yet Nachiru was rooted halfway, unable to bring herself any closer to her 'light'.

xoxox

"Gon!"  
"Killua, you look horrible."  
"You too!"  
The two young boys' cheerful voices rang in the air, but they didn't reach Kurapika's ears. All of his attention was turned towards a certain shadow that stood in between them and the quarters.

The rain blurred his vision which was already blurred by blood flowing into it, but that still didn't block the silver locks he knew too well.  
_Nachiru…  
_The blond stood rooted to the spot, unable to go any further.

Ever since the hunter exams, Kurapika dreamt about her every night. Literally. It was more like a nightmare, actually… He saw her beautiful smile, then heard her voice calling his name. Then he reached out to her, but she disappeared like smoke. And he would hear her crying, and a hoarse whisper, "_why?_"

He missed her, and was guilt-ridden that he couldn't protect her like he intended to. He hated himself for letting Illumi knock him out at the end of the exams. He thought he was even worthy of death, since Nachiru gave up her freedom for his life. He wanted to see her again and apologize…even if words were probably useless.

And she was there…_right there_…standing in the rain. If he shouted, she was close enough to hear him. If he ran, he could easily reach her. He could reach out his hand…  
_But will she disappear like my dream?  
_He wanted to see her so badly, yet he was scared to. What if she really disappeared? What if she would break? Did she even forgive him for his helplessness? She wasn't walking here, like Killua did…wasn't that evidence that she didn't want to see him?

Something suddenly touched his shoulders, and Kurapika turned around wearily to see who it was. He was startled to see Leorio looking concerned…but wasn't so sure if it was the Leorio part or concerned part he was startled by.

"Leorio, what do you want?"  
The older man fidgeted with his glasses, but his hand on Kurapika's shoulders was firm.  
"…I think …uh… shouldn't you go there?"  
He pointed at the not-so-distant figure of Nachiru. Kurapika failed to answer, so he continued.  
"I mean, you…wanted to see her, right? So…"  
"She doesn't seem to feel that way, does she? She's not even moving."  
Kurapika snapped, instantly regretting that he did. But Leorio just stared at him, so he continued.  
"I do not believe she still will tolerate me, Leorio. Nachiru would hate me for what I did."  
"What _did_ you do anyways?"  
"I couldn't help her…"  
"Against a fully-trained assassin? Come on, Kurapika. Like _anyone_ could've done anything…"  
"What do _you_ know! She was already at her breaking point when she saw Illumi again! What I did…or rather, couldn't do is enough to make her hate me for the rest of my life!"

Then, Leorio suddenly punched Kurapika's face. The blonde was taken by surprise and he stared blank-eyed at Leorio, who started shouting angrily.  
"What the _hell_ is wrong with you, Kurapika! Do you really think she'd ever hate you?"  
"But…"  
"No buts, you idiot! She likes you for heaven's sake, and you like her even more!"  
Kurapika widened his eyes, and looked up at Leorio with a lost expression.  
"……Like?"  
"No, sorry. You _love_ each other. Don't tell me you didn't know until now!"  
Kurapika just shook his head.  
"…What do you mean by _love_ anyway?"  
"You are seventeen, and you don't even know that? Love is what you guys feel for each other, goddamnit! You want to protect her, and she tried to save your life by trying to stop you at the gate, right? That is what love is all about!"

Leorio's expression softened and a much kinder voice followed.  
"Just go to her, Kurapika. I bet you my hunter license that she really wanted to see you."  
"Do you…really?"  
"Yeah. And tell her how you feel."  
"How… I feel."  
Kurapika's face still seemed lost, but there was an unmistakable light in his eyes that weren't there before. Leorio smiled and turned Kurapika around to Nachiru's direction. Then he gave a little push.

The younger boy turned around for a moment, but when Leorio gave an encouraging smile, his usual calm expression came back. He started running quickly towards Nachiru, determination forcing him to run faster than he ever did.

xoxox

Nachiru was bewildered when she saw Kurapika was actually going near her. It was frightening enough that he came here …she _could_ have been partially responsible for his death if fate was just a little bit more harsher… and it was even more frightening that he was willing to come close to her. _Why?_ Why in the world was he even interested in her? She just met him in the hunter exams, and they were _strangers_ for god's sake.

_Strangers_.

She suddenly felt anger sweeping over her. Why didn't Kurapika just leave her alone? Why did he risk his life in coming here? And, why didn't _she_ stop him?

She just didn't want to hope for anything. Everything in her life was messed up in the worst way possible, and she was scared Kurapika would too.

"Nachiru…"  
A hesitant voice …that sweet voice she longed for _forever_… landed softly in her ears. She tried to glare at Kurapika at an attempt to keep him away, but it was simply not working. She felt tears pouring out of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, while she heard her cracked voice let out a strained whisper.  
"…Why, Kurapika?"

Kurapika felt anxious when he heard Nachiru. They were just about ten feet away now…and yet, was she trying to keep him away? Did she hate him?  
"Nachiru…I…"  
"Why did you come here?"  
A cold…assassin's voice shot back at him. He was momentarily fooled by an illusion of denial…which Nachiru was trying to get to…but he noticed how her tears were overflowing. It reminded him of the time he had told her about the spiders; she cried too then.

And then he noticed that her eyes weren't as cold as she should make it. There was a different emotion……hurt? She looked down, avoiding his gaze… and Kurapika saw a red-black mark on the back of her neck. He went close to her and reached out for the mark, and he felt her stiffen at the touch.

"…Do you hate me?"  
That was Kurapika's first question. Nachiru gave a bewildered look, and slowly backed off.  
"…W…why would I ever hate you? You… shouldn't _you_ hate me?"  
It was Kurapika's turn to be bewildered. He stared blankly at her for a moment, then forced his answer out.  
"I don't hate you. I never will, Nachiru. Why would I?"

Nachiru bit her lip nervously, unsure of what she should do. Should she run up to Kurapika and pretend like her life finally got a happy ending? But was she sure he really meant it? There was still that issue of being 'strangers'… She noticed Kurapika drew in a sharp breath and stiffened again.  
"I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help you, and forced you to give up your freedom for me. I'm sorry for that."  
"I'm sorry too… You wouldn't have…gotten hurt if… if you didn't know me."  
"I……"  
"…Yeah?"  
"I mentioned we were strangers during the test…"  
Nachiru bit her lip so hard that a trail of blood trailed down her chin. Kurapika looked down nervously for a while, but soon regained his composure.

"That _is_ true. We are strangers… We only met in the hunter exams, and I hardly know you."  
"…I know."  
"But I do not intend to stay strangers."  
"Kurapika…?"  
"I…love you. You mean much more to me than the other things in the world."  
Nachiru looked genuinely surprised this time. She felt a surge of hope filling her heart up.  
"Do you really mean it? Do you…"  
Her sentence was cut off by Kurapika embracing her tightly. She was taken aback for a moment, but returned the embrace tightly with a relieved smile on her face. She did not know that Kurapika had the same expression with her.

They both _finally_ found where they belonged. Their _reason for existence_.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

_I'm sorry for the delay in updating. I was pretty busy... I actually am in a boarding school right now, and DAMN, they give SO MUCH homework._

_There will probably be another chapter (a short one) and an epilogue... So please be patient with this snail's-paced updates! And thanks to all my reviewers. I regret that I couldn't reply to my most recent ones, but let me just say I love you all for it, thanks... And I read each and every one of them!_


	18. Freedom X Promise X New Departures

Killua glanced back at his sister, and formed a grin on his face. He did not really understand why it was _Kurapika_ (He thought Nachiru was capable of getting more 'manly men') but he understood they really needed each other. He felt something warm build up in his heart to know his sister was finally free from her curse. Her curse of the Zaoldyecks…of Illumi.

He still remembered clearly how worn and empty she looked when they met a couple of hours ago. And now, she was a breathing, _living_ person again. Just seeing Kurapika one more time made that much change; he was sure the Kuruta would be able to heal all of the wounds and scars of his sister carried with her. He just felt like dancing around… now, even _he _was free. He could go to wherever the hell he wanted with Gon.

But at the same time, he also felt a pang of hurt. He _was_ happy Nachiru found her happiness, but he was frustrated that _he_ couldn't help her. He was supposedly her younger brother, and he knew her much more than Kurapika did. Why? Was he _that_ unreliable? Weak?  
"Killua."  
Gon's voice brought him back to reality. Killua hurriedly formed a smile on his face, but quickly dropped it when he saw Gon was not buying it.  
"Are you sad, Killua?"  
"…I……no, I'm not sad. _Why_ would I be sad?"  
"You look sad."  
"No I don't."  
"You do."  
Killua sighed at his friend's indignant remark. Gon could tell through any lie, and that was the last thing Killua wanted at the moment.

"Okay… I just feel…… a little, okay? A _little_ upset because…"  
"You couldn't help Nachiru the way Kurapika did?"  
Leorio's voice unexpectedly completed the sentence, and both boys looked up at Leorio's grinning face. Killua made a sullen face and just nodded.  
"Well, you're her brother after all. Younger brother, to be more exact. You wouldn't be able to support her the way a person her age can."  
"What do _you_ know, old man?"  
"Believe me, I know."

Killua gave a glare and looked away in a childish way. Leorio just smiled and said,  
"You'll understand it when you get older."

xoxox

"Kurapika……"  
Nachiru started as she tentatively let go of the blonde. He looked at her with a little apprehension and worry.  
"……Is there anything wrong?"  
"Do you really mean it? I mean… I…"  
The platinum blonde shifted uneasily as she tried to continue her sentence. Things were going too well, she thought. And she was scared that it might be some evil joke they were playing on her.  
"……I…don't deserve this. I really don't. I…"

She looked at the unmoving Kuruta, and was surprised to see a small bit of anger in his eyes. She pulled back, scared of what she might have done, but Kurapika was faster. He sealed her in an embrace once again…a much tighter, passionate one than the last.  
"Kurapi…"  
"Don't even say that. You deserve everything in the world."  
"…But…"  
"If you think someone doesn't deserve something, then it's me not deserving you."  
"……I…"  
"Stop. Don't make me angry."  
Sternness crept into Kurapika's voice, and Nachiru flinched a little.  
"I'm sorry."  
Then Kurapika's hold loosened, and much kinder eyes looked back at her. She smiled, but a bad premonition was growing in her heart. Would this go right?

And that bad feeling wouldn't go away when she walked to the other three waiting for her and Kurapika, or when she had the last glance at her pet-turned-into-guard-dog (better known as Mike), or when she walked out of the cursed gate she was locked inside her whole life.

xoxox

The rain inside their hearts stopped, but the rain in the real world failed to cease. And that didn't help getting rid of the bad feeling that was growing in Nachiru's heart.

They caught the last train from the town down the mountain to the nearest airport. It was an overnight travel, so the five of them were lying down and sleeping. That was where the gang was to split up and go their ways…which meant these were the final moments they were traveling together. The thought of it made Nachiru feel lonely.

And, there was still the issue of…who _was_ she going to go with? Gon and Killua were going together, obviously, to heaven knows where… Leorio was going back to his hometown to study… and Kurapika was going after the Genei Ryodan, although she had absolutely no clue how he would do that. She knew Leorio and Gon expected she'd go with Kurapika, but they did not know she had hesitations about that. One, she was not sure about Killua. Two, she was still scared of the Genei Ryodan.

She instantly shut her eyes tightly, cursing her carelessness in remembering _that_ incident… That certain day of her life where she saw more blood than ever thought possible. The day that was covered in red, from blood and from her eyes.

"Miyo…"  
She whispered into the air, mindful not to wake the people around. Then she clenched her fist as a drop of tear ran down her eyes. Miyo… The name she had used during her exams was the alias of her friend. Of her _late_ friend, who was murdered by the Ryodan in front of her eyes. She shuddered as she recalled the pain, grief and hopelessness she felt at that moment, when a pair of warm arms embraced her from the back.

"……Kurapika?"  
She turned her head and saw a few strands of gold.  
"…Nachiru, is there anything wrong?"  
"No, I'm fine…"  
"Then why are you crying?"  
"I'm not…"  
"Don't lie."  
Nachiru took in a deep breath and held his arms tightly. She said nothing more, and he said nothing more. And there they fell asleep feeling the warmth of each other… until the morning sunlight awoke them all.

xoxox

"Is this where we say goodbye, then?"  
Gon's slightly melancholy voice sounded emptily in the airport's big hall, and it caused the other four to cast their gazes away. This was as far as they could go together, and they all knew that different paths awaited each of them. Wasn't it for those paths that they took the hunter exams in the first place?

"I have to go and find Hisoka…to give this plate back to him!"  
Gon said determinedly as he held a number plate in his hand, and Killua gave an encouraging nod.  
"Well, now that I have a license, I can finally study to be a doctor…"  
"As for me, I will continue seeking the eyes of my tribe, and go after the Genei Ryodan…"  
Nachiru gave an involuntary shudder …thank goodness it was so slight nobody noticed… when she heard that cursed name. _Of course…_ As much as she loathed the Ryodan, and would rather not have anything to do with them, she knew perfectly well that staying with Kurapika meant chasing after…and possibly even killing…them.

And she knew that there was nowhere else she belonged but Kurapika.

"Nachiru…"  
Kurapika was the one who started the unspoken question in everyone's minds.  
"Who will you go with?"  
Nachiru drew in a sharp breath. She saw this coming. It was true that she actually _did_ have two options; Killua or Kurapika. A quick glance at Killua's eyes confirmed how her younger brother still missed her, and would have like her to go with him. _But…_

"I will go with Kurapika."  
She said in a steady voice, hoping that no one noticed her small internal conflict. And no one did. It did break her heart to see Killua look so crestfallen, but she knew her heart would be ripped apart if she had to part with Kurapika one more time.  
"I might put you in danger. The Genei Ryodan is a very dangerous group of people…"  
"Kurapika, please."  
Nachiru said in a little stern voice…the tone she used to scold Killua with a long time before.  
"Right now, as of the moment, I _am_ stronger than you."  
An assured smile broke into the pale boy's features, and warmness swept over Nachiru. Kurapika was so pure…so innocent…to the point of being cruel. She was scared not only for herself, but also for him.

"Oh…but Gon?"  
Killua quickly replaced his dejected gaze with genuine doubt.  
"Do you even know where Hisoka is?"  
"Uh…um… Actually, no."  
Gon looked away with a slight frown that reminded Nachiru of a sad puppy.  
"Well… I actually know where he _will be_ in September."  
The group looked at Kurapika, who just said that, with utter surprise. Everyone except for Nachiru, who just widened her eyes with realization.

"What? You _know_?"  
"...Do you know the auction held at York Shin every year?"  
The rest nodded. Who _hadn't _heard about the famous auction where all…literally, _all_…the world's rarest treasures were brought into one place for those few days? And who _hadn't_ heard about the notorious rumors that floated around that gloriously famous event?

"He will be there."  
Gon looked down with disbelief as Leorio raised his voice with indignation.  
"How the hell did _you_ know that?"  
"…The last exam."  
Nachiru answered the question as if to defend Kurapika. They all fell silent, but doubt was still not gone from their faces.  
"Do you remember when Hisoka and Kurapika fought in the last exam? How Hisoka whispered something to him right before he gave up the fight?"  
It was something that seemed to have happened so long ago, it was a little foggy in everyone's memories. The three squinted their eyes trying to remember, while Nachiru continued.  
"Hisoka said, _'York Shin, September. The Spiders will be there.'_"  
"But how did you even hear that? I mean…"  
"I have good hearing. I can hear a lot of things I wish I didn't have to listen to."

The group fell silent for a while. All of this was happening so fast. It was true that they met for the first time in the beginning of the hunter exams, and that there was still so much they didn't know about the others. But then, it still felt like they've been traveling together forever. They felt like a big family. Although they all had different goals, different homes, different paths awaiting them…they just wanted to be with the other for a bit longer. Not that they could, however.

"Then… this September, at York Shin?"  
Gon stretched his hand tentatively. The tension softened a little. Yes, even if they _were_ parting now, they were going to meet each other again. And not too far in the future too. Killua grinned and put his hand on Gon's, followed by Leorio. Kurapika and Nachiru looked at each other, and managed a faint smile on their faces. The path from now was going to be a long, hard, weary one…but then, they still had each other…and the others. They were no longer alone.

"September, York Shin."  
With a firm statement that served as an oath, Kurapika and Nachiru both put their hand in the circle. It was not a farewell, but a promise to meet again.

For now, they were to pursue what they had to.

* * *

_Right, here I am with the next and final... (for now, at least) chapter. Yes, again I have not updated in a long, long time. I hope people haven't forgotten about me or this fic. To all you guys who kept up with me, I just cannot thank you enough._

_Another thanks to my reviewers...keia mizuki, Sea-Salt Ice Cream, shinsendensetsu, girls prayer, Pan, Cherrybell, dewprism56, Ritsikas, AnimeFan918, Angelis 023, angge, and SIERRA. I love you all for taking an extra minute to stop and give me feedback!!_

_The Epilogue (or I might call it the Interlude, since there was going to be more to the story...and I might still write it...) might come soon, probably will not. I'm sorry, but I am trying..._


End file.
